So there was this dad...

There was this dad, who wanted to be involved.  He was optimistic.  He was excited.  He was totally fantastic.

http://tranquilseasons.com/DadsAndDoulas.html

Then, labor commenced in the middle of the night and he had just returned home from a grueling double shift.  Mom woke him after doing her best to allow a 45 minute nap and he was groggy.  So groggy, he is later reported to have grabbed Nintendo charger cords in place of phone chargers.  He forgot to put pants on.  He might not have had his eyes open while driving to the hospital.  He barely said a word.

He was perfect.

Standing with his hand on mom's arm...  She relaxed into a puddle.  He didn't have to speak.  His love and support filled the room.  Her group of guardians encircled her while her body and mind did all the hard work of natural labor.  When she couldn't go farther, he gave her strength with his touch.

Dad didn't have much to say, but was a steady, calm, pillar of security for his family.

Then, we met to talk about the birth a week or so after they returned home from the hospital.  Dad shouted "What about me?!  I gave birth that day!  I went through it all!"  We all laughed, but I know deep inside, it's completely serious.  He did.  All dads do.  That's what makes them great.  They are often silent, but it doesn't mean they aren't laboring.  Their kind of laboring is not outward, but inward.  It's amazing.  How often we overlook the daddies.

You, dear dad...  You are the unsung hero.  I couldn't be more proud of how you gave birth that day.

What to Buy/Register for Baby!

Tranquil Seasons BabyRegistry Recommendations

(if it's not on this list, you probably don't need it)

Newborn Necessities:

v  Layette  - Fave Brands:  Carters, Sage Creek Organics, Under the Nile and Kicky Pants

Ø  Onsies - #5

Ø  Footies (coveralls with feet) - #5

Ø  Sleep Gowns (elastic bottoms) - #5

Ø  Receiving/Swaddling Blankets (fave brand: Aiden and Anais) - #8

v  Diapering - Fave Brands: Honest Co. and Pampers Swaddlers

Ø  Diapers, newborn-size and size 1

Ø  Wipes (fave brands: California Baby, Mustela or just get regular and rinse the brick)

Ø  Cloth Diapers - (fave brands: G-Diapers, Kissaluvs)

Ø  Diaper Rash Cream - Burts Bees wins hands down

v  Feeding

Ø  Lansinoh Nipple Cream, or Earth Mother Angel Baby brand nipple cream

Ø  My Brest Friend Breastfeeding Pillow (yes, this is important!!, if you plan to bfeed)

Ø  Burp Cloths (anything absorbent and soft against baby’s face will do) #8

Ø  Medela Pump in Style breast pump, if you’re going to be breast/bottle feeding

Ø  Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags

Ø  Dr. Browns or Tommy Tippee bottles, if you plan to bottle feed at all

Ø  Soft, sleep bras (at least 3 of these in the beginning, 1 size bigger) + Breast pads

v  Furniture

Ø  Changing pad

Ø  Rock-n-Play Sleeper - we call it the “Taco Rocker”

Ø  Co-Sleeper (fave brand: Arm’s Reach Mini)

Ø  Co-sleeper sheets

Ø  Stroller/Car Seat Travel System (fave brand: Britax)

v  Other Misc.

Ø  Nail file (you can use the fine gauge side of your own emery boards)

Ø  Thermometer (fave brand: Thermoscan)

Ø  Baby Carrier (fave type:  Pouch-Style - check out “Go, Baby, Go” to try them on)

Ø  Baby Bath Wash & Lotion/Massage Oil (fave brand: California Baby or Weleda)

Ø  Target Brand or Purex Baby Laundry Detergent (fave: same as but less expensive than Dreft)

 

Newborn Nice-to-Haves:

v  Layette  - Fave Brands:  buying from WAHMs is a great way to support your community

Ø  Carseat cover (in winter)

Ø  Additional blankets are nice, chenille or fleece layered blankets are especially warm

v  Diapering -

Ø  Wipes Warmer (fave brand: Lionheart)

Ø  Changing Station, either on top of dresser or pack-n-play

v  Feeding

Ø  Breast shells (fave brand: Avent)

Ø  Pumping bra for hands-free pumping (fave brand: medela)

Ø  Mother’s Milk Tea by Traditional Medicinals or Nursing Mother Tea by Yogi

v  Furniture

Ø  Rocking Chair with foot stool/ottoman for mom

Ø  Nursery crib and dresser set

Ø  Baby Swing (fave brand: Mamaroo)

Ø  Bumbo Seat (this is for baby once he/she is 3-4 months, but awesome nonetheless)

Ø  Pram-style stroller / jogger (depending on your lifestyle)

v  Other Misc.

Ø  Bath Time (fave brands: Under the Sea Sponge and Spa Baby Eco)

Ø  Pacifier (if you use them, get several Wubbanubs, they are so great!)

Ø  Skin Care (Calendula Cream by California Baby solves most skin irritations)

Ø  Pelvic Support for Mom (you want a thicker band like: Medela Postpartum Support)

 

Did we forget something?  Have a question about a product?  Just ask!

Call 210-548-8800

email Anne at annecwj(at)gmail.com
or visit us on the web:  http://www.tranquilseasons.com

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Historical Doula

Couldn't have said it better myself:

"Having someone by your side during the marathon we call childbirth is not only helpful, but it's historical.
What do we mean by that?

 

Well, for as far back as there are birth stories to be told, you will hear about women attended by other women, supported, encouraged, and often times physically held by the strong arms of this wise, nurturing companion.

Doulas are nothing new, but they have found a name for themselves in the Greek. To be simple, it means servant. With a humble heart, these precious women patiently wait with the mother while actively assisting her to labor more quickly, easily, and safely. Doulas provide information, reassurance, positioning and pain relief without the use of drugs."
Thanks, MaternityWise International, for that!!

To get more familiar with doulas, please read my other blog posts.
If you feel an urge to become a doula yourself, feel free to send me an email and ask some questions about the process.
You can also find more here:
http://www.maternitywise.com

 

Tips For An Easier Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond

Here is a great little article I wrote back in 2002 with a list of tips for pregnant mothers...
Enjoy!

To make life easier as a pregnant mother, we've put together some wonderful tips and reminders for you!

• Take time to pamper yourself. Relaxing benefits you, the baby, AND the new dad!
  
• Drink lots of water and fruit juice. Traditional Medicinals brand and Yogi brand (found in the natural foods part of the grocery store) have a wonderful pregnancy tea and Red Raspberry Leaf teas.
  
• Red Raspberry Leaf tea is also a wonderful uterine tonic, used by women for centuries to strengthen their uterus and ease/hasten childbirth.
  
• Buy lots of pillows and USE them in bed!
  
• Make sure to take your prenatal daily. A "green" prenatal is going to allow your body to absorb more nutrients because they are made with food, not synthetics. Some women even find that switching to a "green" prenatal lessens their nausea tremendously.  After the birth, sometimes those prenatals can be the source of baby's tummy discomfort. 
  
• Be sure to get plenty of protein. Your body needs lots of it to grow a healthy baby. High blood pressure can often be avoided by keeping your high quality protein intake high. Try almonds, yogurt, eggs, cheese and lean meats. Women struggling with high blood pressure will find help here.
  
• Read all you can get your hands on, and look at birth photos, videos, etc. Familiarity with what to expect can prevent anxiety.

• Hire a doula. Doulas are very knowledgeable about pregnancy and birth and can help you brainstorm to solve any comfort issues you may have.  When looking for a doula, consider her training, certification and make sure her credentials are legit and current.  Oh, and always, always do a background check!  Here's my agency's website:  http://www.tranquilseasons.com

 

• Journal. Your child will find your ramblings so precious and reassuring when they are having their own babies or as a graduation or coming of age present.
  
• Buy an exercise ball and sit on it as often as possible. This can relieve back pain, and also keep your pelvis limber for the big day.
  
• Find a local La Leche League group and plan to attend a meeting or two before the birth. These ladies will become a great resource for after the baby arrives.  If you find them too militant, seek out other local lactation support groups.
  
• Don't apologize for having to go to the bathroom all the time.
  
• Buy a reacher/grabber thing to get things up high and down low. You'll be surprised how off-balance that belly can make you.
  
• Buy slip on shoes. It's nice to eliminate bending over at the end of your pregnancy.
  
• Recruit your other children to help out around the house.
  
• Plan and ASK for help from family and friends for after the birth. Don't try to be Superwoman!
  
• Consider hiring a Postpartum Doula.
  
• Buy lots of paper plates - even one package can make a big difference.
  
• Store pre-made casseroles in the freezer.
  
• Don't go crazy decorating the nursery and buying tons of "stuff". Simplifying your life makes having a baby easier. Valuable baby equipment might only include diapers and blankets at first.
• Write a birth plan.  Ask your doula to help you.  This will help you to educate yourself on what is available to you as far as options and will also help you to narrow dow what you feel is most important to you, in regard to your birth experience ideals.

 

 

Who is Anne Doula - Part 2

Part 2:
Finally, Anne Doula is a woman who is on a mission to challenge the ideas about what doulas are... When you walk down the street and see a pregnant woman, do you automatically offer her a drink of water? How about when you're in a store and you hear a newborn crying and the mother looks haggard. Do you have to refrain yourself from going over, picking up the baby and saying, here, I'll help you get through the last items on your list....?

A doula is a servant. We wake up thinking about how to take care of people and we go to bed exhausted every night, with a smile on our face knowing we gave every last drop of ourselves to those around us. We are love in action. We nurture. We help, we feed, we carry, we DO love.

If you're thinking about becoming a doula, consider an organization that we feel is the very top notch education and certification program: MaternityWise International http://www.maternitywise.com
They have a standardized curriculum, so your training will be as comprehensive as everyone else's. it's a stepping stone / midwifery prep program. The pricing is reasonable and the staff is flexible and friendly. The organization is owned by it's members and therefore you will not have anyone micromanaging your personal doula company, telling you what you can and can't say and do. They also teach how to start and build your birth business. From real life, successful doulas. There just simply isn't an organization like this out there.

Are you feeling led to become a doula? My aunt once told me that it was my "calling" to assist pregnant and birthing women. I wondered what that meant. Now I'm living it.

I have this cute little book that my kindegarten teacher Mrs. Baumgartner made waaaaay back when... It was a self-portrait on each page of all her students, and on a page in the back, she listed all our names and what we wanted to be when we grew up. Many children put president, or firefighter, or doctor or astronaut. After my name was 3!! ha ha She listed that I wanted to be a "Mommy, a teacher and a nurse."

As a doula, in a sense, I am kind of playing all 3 roles. Doulas mother the mother, and teach her how to love her baby and care for herself. She also has a knowledge of medical, anatomical and physiological processes involving the pregnant, birthing and postpartum mother as well as fetal and newborn internal mechanics.

It's so important, for the families we serve, to get a well-rounded education and complete a credentialing process from an internationally certifying body. You can help set the standard. You can be one of those special women who assit mothers to get the care they need, even when they cannot afford it. You can be the change in the birthing world. One of the ways you can do that, is to be pro-active in education.

We need more top-level skilled doulas in the world, to keep making a difference!!! So what's stopping you from getting certified? Start your program today! You are worth it, and the families you will serve in the future will be so grateful you took this step.

-Anne

Who is Anne Doula? (Part 1)

Client:  "Hey Grandma, come meet Anne.  She's my doula!"

Client's Grandmother:  "Hello Anne Doula.  That is a curious last name.  Is it French?"

hahahahaha
and so I became Anne Doula.

Doula is actually a Greek word.  It's used in the Bible when describing Jesus, as He washed his disciples' feet.  He took on the form of a "Doulos" or male servant.

Doula generally referred to the woman servant, who helped the mother of the household with pregnancy, birth and childrearing in the early years.  She was a hand-maiden, a personal assistant, a second mama, a close friend, confidant, and often she was also a wet-nurse.

These days, there are women who call themselves doulas, yet have no training, or even any idea that doula = servant.  They hear the term, want to attend births cause it sounds exciting, and then off they go, calling themselves a doula...  hmmmmm.....  not cool.

Why is it not cool?  Well, for several very good, very important reasons: 

1. Mothers hear about doulas in the media, or from books about pregnancy, and they kind of have an expectation of what sort of value and skill-set a doula will bring to their experience.  If all doulas are on different levels as far as education and philosophy, how can mothers know who to choose, what is a reasonable amount to pay, what to expect, etc.?
2. Birth isn't always easy, fast, or safe.  Don't get me wrong, I birthed my last 2 of 5 babies at home, and one arrived before the midwife, so I'm probably what you'd call a "Birth-Truster" and I believe that birth is normally safe, and that interference and intervention is normally risky.  However, we do know how bad information can lead to bad choices which can lead to bad outcomes.  This is a HUGE reason why doulas - who give advice and help mothers to educate themselves - need to know their role, when to refer moms to a specific professional, and what is a silly trend and what is serious medicine.  Untrained, uncertified women who call themselves doulas are not qualified, and often do not know or understand the bounds of what their role entails as a complementary care provider.  Because of this, you often find they lack the information parents really need, and sadly, they also lack the ethical standards as well.
3. Unfortunately, women who feel they don't need training, or are above attaining a certification, are many times, the same women who have their own birth trauma or other serious personal issues to deal with.  I was just speaking to a dad yesterday, who said he had interviewed half a dozen doulas in our city, and each one revealed through their philosophy, personal stories, or unsolicited advice their own resentment toward a doctor or nurse during their own experiences.
4. Women who claim to be "trained" but cannot provide you with their credentials are basically women who are shortcutting the system.  They took a workshop, but they didn't have the integrity to complete the rest of their training.  In my opinion, they should not be calling themselves "trained" simply because they did not complete the entire "training process".  Parents are getting savvy to this however, and more and more families are turning down doulas who don't have those coveted letters after their name or a certification award to prove they completed a course to become a true doula.
5. When a woman cannot afford doula care, there are a few states where it is mandated for insurance companies to reimburse a portion of their care expenses.  Why would insurance companies want to reimburse for care that has no value to them?  Saving them money is how doulas look good to the insurance company.  How would having a doula save them money?  By lowering the cesarean risk, for starters.  So it's important that certified doulas continue to seek out insurance reimbursement.  That, and the fact that mothers who want doula care, but cannot afford it will be more likely to receive that care including better outcomes for themselves and their babies, if insurance companies were on board with paying a portion of that expense.  Some states like Minnesota and Pennsylvania already do.
6. The last and perhaps most upsetting reason (to me) of why it's not cool that women take on the title "Doula" without completing a certification process is that is blows the stats of good doulas out of whack.  For example, the Cochrane report from the 1990's showed that having a doula by your side reduced the rate of cesarean by almost half.  In the late 2000's, after being a doula became trendy, that rate in another Cochrane review showed that the stat was now hovering around 25%  Why?  Because women who are not properly trained are out there practicing and mothers are not getting the benefit of having a skilled woman by their side.  Those numbers, by the way, tell me that having an uncertified doula means your rates of cesarean is no different that those of the general public without a doula.

Part 2 coming soon............

Becoming a Doula-Minded Birth Advocate

Many years ago, I was holding hands of friends in labor, and walking the halls with newborns so mothers could sleep.  I was changing diapers of babies with RSV and cuddling moms who cried over their birth stories. 

I gave birth to my first baby at age 17.  I didn't know anything.  I never had any idea that someone might think I wouldn't succeed at delivering vaginally.  I didn't know the cesarean statistic or that women still gave birth at home.  No one ever bothered to tell me that my breasts would fill with milk, whether or not I chose to breastfeed.  I didn't wonder how I would ever push a baby out or if I could manage the discomforts of labor.  Nor did I think about whether I wanted drugs or not for pain.  I honestly did not have a clue they were even an option.  I just figured you had a baby and that was that.  There was so much I was ignorant of.

There was so much I didn't know, that I had no time or inclination or reason to question the natural processes my body went through.  I didn't question my weight gain.  Never thought about how much amniotic fluid I had or if I might catch the flu.  I went on my way, carrying my baby and eating, eating, eating, dancing and walking and enjoying every kick and flutter.  Can you imagine a pregnancy like that nowadays?  That was only 1992/1993.  Not really that long ago.  Over the last 20 years, what has happened in our society, in our medical care system, in our circles of friends and family that has turned the perception of birth into such a frantic, frightening, and frustrating scenario?

Ask yourself these questions: 

• When I've heard about birth, what was a main theme in each story? 
• Did I feel fear upon hearing the story? 
• What has shaped my ideas about birth?  Mother? Aunts? Sisters? the Media?
• When I've spoke of birth, what has been the tone and intention of my story? 
• Have I told a Hollywood version of my experience, looking for the oohs and awws or have I told the boring details right along side the exciting ones? 
• Have I been truly, completely honest when talking about my birth with people?

Consider your answers and consider also what part you've played in influencing the women and girls around you and their perception of birth.  Perhaps you've built healthy ideals, or perhaps you are now recognizing that you can do better.

I'm interested to hear how you might make some changes in your own birth-speak, or how you feel we can better affirm our societies' positive ideas on birth.

-Anne