Pregnancy
and birth is a normal physiological function of the female body. In general, the female body is as capable of
pregnancy and birth as it is breathing, digesting food or passing urine. It is logical to assume that interference is
not necessary unless and until a problem presents itself, and not unless or
until there is evidence that the body’s self-correcting restorative
capabilities are not meeting the need of the problem.
It
is also very important to remember that the variety and ability of the female
body to conceive, carry and birth a baby constitute a large range of
“normal”. For example: Just because one
woman labors best in a certain position does not mean that all women labor best
in that position. That “best” position
may not suit the same woman in subsequent labors, either. The ways in which they can “get the job done”
is as varied as the women themselves and the babies they carry.
Everything
in a woman’s life changes when she gets pregnant. Her body’s changes are the most prominent because we can look at her and it's right there. However, change is also present in the way she sees and thinks about herself and the world around her - as
well as the way the world sees and thinks about her. The mothering instinct is quite strong and
predominant in some, while it is more subdued or delayed in others.
No matter what the mother thought or felt
about herself before, she will now envision herself with another person in her
life depending on every breath and calorie - unlike any relationship before
it. That transition will manifest in
beautiful ways when she is supported properly during pregnancy, labor, birth
and the postpartum period. But hey, you
already knew that! Congratulations!
Have you ever considered becoming a doula? Are you good at smoothing things over and keeping things calm when others around you are freaking out? You might be a doula on the inside. :)
Our job as normalizing anchors…
We as doulas are meant to be a sounding board for
mothers. They will usually tell us how
they are feeling, in detail. We are so
lucky to get a glimpse into the intimate part of a woman’s journey, whether
this is her first or 10th pregnancy.
It is always our responsibility to have an accepting, nurturing attitude
toward the mother. I call it “putting on
love” toward her. As we do this, we can
help to normalize things she is concerned about or may cause alarm in others
when truly it’s not a crisis. She needs someone to be sturdy, and someone she can count on to provide her with reassurance.
Tell her all you know, while focusing on the
positive, and being realistic about the negative – that women have been growing
babies and giving birth for eons, and she’s not broken or strange. One thing I say is to look around, the world
has been peopled!
You’re not the first,
and you probably won’t be the last to experience ____________.
Doulas are not all the same, but a well-trained, professional doula who has the integrity of being certified is going to have the skills to nurture and keep you calm when labor gets difficult, and all the times before that too.
Be picky about who you choose, and remember... Experience (in years and number of families served) is valuable and it's is worth paying for.
May your birth be blessed with peace and rest.
Anne Croudace
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