Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations - Part 1 The Latest

Education is very important.  The understanding of how labor works, how your cervix and uterus operate and what really exists in the large range of normal...  IS HUGELY IMPORTANT.

If you don't know these things, these basic, simple things, you can easily be lied to.  I can't tell you enough how important it is for women of childbearing age to be educated on pregnancy and childbirth.  Junior High health class is just not good enough!

It's important because there are practitioners out there who are charismatic, and good at manipulating.  They have fantastic bedside manner and very fat wallets.  I hate to even have to say that.  There are lots of great OBs and midwives caring for women with ethical, respectful philosophies.  There are honest caregivers practicing out there who feel equal disgust when hearing about the latest butcher shop tactics.  But just like there are weeds growing in every beautiful garden, so there are evils among the most sacred or professions - maternity caregivers come in all colors.

Speaking with an OBGYN friend of mine a few months ago, he explained that it's not profitable to take medicaid patients, but he does it anyway, because his neighboring OB across the road was taking them and signing 85-90% up for what he is touting as necessary cesareans (no exaggeration).  My friend believes women do better birthing with support and without interference, and wanted women to have a choice, particularly the more vulnerable, and often less educated immigrant Medicaid population that were buying into Dr. Surgery's smooth tactics across the street...

So we started offering free and low-cost childbirth preparation classes to Medicaid and Military patients.  We wanted to be part of the solution.  We wanted to give mothers a real opportunity to make sound decisions and without "hospital indoctrination" as it can be at times.

We assumed of course, the lower income mothers might not know better.  They cannot afford childbirth preparation classes and many of those in our richly diverse city don't speak or read english well.  It seemed logical to expect that kind of scenario happened in "that part of town".  Right?  I thought so too.

Until recently...  I have heard several affluent, (and what I would consider educated) moms tell me that they "had to schedule a cesarean" due to having an "unfavorable cervix" at or near their ESTIMATED due date.  These mothers went on to explain that they were told at 38, 37, and even 36 weeks that their cervix was not favorable, was posterior, and/or was too tightly closed to be able to deliver vaginally.  Yes, long before their due date with baby #1; and they did not know any better than to believe their doctors who told them with sad faces that they were disappointed right along with them that they couldn't deliver the way they wanted (vaginally) and that this sometimes happens to moms and cannot be avoided (extending sympathy, even soliciting empathy for their own position as the doctor).

As a woman, wouldn't you feel horrible if you were told your womanly parts didn't work?  Especially if you deep down believed it weren't true, but you had no way of convincing those you perceive to be "in authority" over your health/experience?  There's a deep, even subconscious humiliation and self-worth destruction that takes root in a woman when her pregnancy or birth dreams are thwarted or her ability is deemed to be invalid in the process.  This is not to mention the subconscious mistrust that is planted into the mind of the partner.  If her body "can't be trusted" to grow a baby safely, or birth a baby safely, how can it nourish a baby or how can she be trusted to care for the baby alone?

An example of the manipulation: One mom was told that she "didn't do anything wrong" (insinuating she should feel that she had) but that with "her type of cervix", even induction would fail.  Preying on her disappointment and feeling of being taken off-guard, Dr. Sneaky Mistruth pretended to be devastated with her, and nearly solicited sympathy for himself, acting as if because of her body's malfunction, he was being forced to perform surgery on her.  Talk about manipulation!

News Flash:
The cervix sometimes does not soften or open until the day labor commences.  Sometimes due to baby's position or other reasons which can change suddenly, the cervix light stay posterior until labor starts.  And reminder: on average, healthy outcomes for mom and baby in first time moms - delivery date was 41.5 weeks - when no induction methods were employed.

41.5 weeks!  
First time moms!  

So, technically, following that average, a 37 week scheduled cesarean would give you a 1 full month premature baby.

What boggles my mind is not the bad advice to moms.  It's not the "your cervix is unfavorable" which would indicate to me that the practitioner is simply lacking accurate knowledge and could/should be enlightened. No, the thing that really stops me in my tracks is the emotional manipulation of the mother, saying things like "I'm disappointed right along with you" and "I wish you could have the birth you want, but" and "this happens to a lot of moms, and it's not your fault"  WOW!  What a mind-job.

Click here for the Part 2 of this series on Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations.

Meanwhile, if you're interested in classes, mentoring or just learning more...  visit our agency website: Local San Antonio Doulas

or call me for the latest info

Warm Blessings,
Anne Croudace
952-457-6506

New Mothers Speak Out

What do you think?

The New Mothers Speak Out (PDF) report presents postpartum results from both surveys and gives a ground-breaking view of experiences of mothers with young children in the United States at this time. The surveys were conducted by Harris Interactive and carried out in partnership with Lamaze International.

New Mothers Speak Out reports that life is challenging for many women at this time, who Report highlights include:The report also includes dozens of comments from the mothers themselves about these topics.· experienced new physical and emotional problems following technology-intensive births with high rates of surgery and other interventions:

· struggled to get exercise and rest, eat a healthy diet and manage stress

· did not return to their pre-pregnancy weight

· got limited support from husbands/partners and others

· were unable to start or continue breastfeeding as they wanted

· wanted but did not have the maternity benefits that women in other affluent countries take for granted

· returned too quickly to employment due to financial pressure.

Extent to which mothers experienced 26 health conditions as a new problem in the first two months after birth, and extent to which the problems persisted to six months or more

 Net weight gain above mothers' weight just before pregnancy over the first 18 months after birth

Results of two validated postpartum depression screening tools

First national data about post-traumatic stress with reference to women's childbirth experience, using a validated screening tool:

· Breastfeeding patterns and whether mothers achieved their goals for exclusive breastfeeding and for duration of breastfeeding

· Baby co-sleeping with mother or others in first six months

· How women and their husbands or partners shared child care

· How women rated the support they received from their husbands or partners and from others

· Extent to which women who were employed in pregnancy received paid maternity leave benefits versus their ideal length of paid maternity leave

· Patterns of staying home with baby and transitioning to employment over the first 18 months after birth

· Whether employed women were able to to stay home with their babies as long as they wanted

· Challenges in the transition to employment after birth

What do you feel about these assessments?

http://www.tranquilseasons.com

210-548-8800

Sample Birth Plan

Look into your options...
Here is a sample, offered by one of our clients to give other moms a good starting point.

Feel free to use wording from it, or even copy and paste.  If you have questions about any of the preferences listed, please let me know and I will be glad to explain the family's intent as well as further resources regarding each item.

Remember, your birth plan should be 1 page long and include a categorized list of your wishes and preferences in each stage of your childbirth experience.

 

Birth Plan

Labor:

·         I would like my husband, Jason, and doula, Anne, to stay with me at all times.

·         I request that pain medication NOT be offered to me; if I decide to use pain medications, I will request them.

·         In the event of labor augmentation, I would like to try alternate methods prior to use of Pitocin.

·         I prefer no IV fluids unless I am dehydrated such that juices, electrolyte water, and other drinks do not properly hydrate me.

Pushing:

·         I request the freedom to choose various pushing and delivery positions; to include squatting, hands & knees, or whatever may feel right at the time.

·         I ask that no episiotomy be performed; I would like warm compresses and perineal massage prior to delivery.

·         When it is time to push, I’d like to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits as long as my baby and I are doing fine.

 

Immediately Postpartum:

·         I request that the umbilical cord not be clamped, or even touched until it is white and limp. I request to be allowed to naturally deliver the placenta; I request to have the placenta stored safely and unaltered so that we may take the placenta home for encapsulation.

·         I request that the immediate care of my baby be done on my abdomen or chest with skin-to-skin contact for as long as possible.

·         I plan to exclusively breastfeed and request that no supplements or pacifiers be given. If my baby needs to be fed by bottle or other means, I would like to pump my breasts and provide breast milk throughout the hospital stay.

Newborn:

·         I ask that all newborn care be done in my room.

·         If my baby requires special nursery care, I request access to him at any time.

Special Circumstances:

·         If the above ideals must be altered for medical necessity, I ask that we be given as much time as safely possible to consider all our options before procedures are done.

·         In the event of a cesarean delivery, I would like my partner and doula with me.

·         If cesarean is necessary, I would like contact with my baby as soon as possible and during recovery.

·         In the event of a stillbirth or death of my baby, I would like contact with him as long as desired afterwards.