How to Become a Doula - Step 1.

Women naturally want to support one another in pregnancy, birth and during the postpartum phase.  Still, with our Western, disconnected, non-communal mindset, we have a hard time figuring out how to get involved without being too involved or helping enough without appearing obnoxious.  haha

I get asked all the time, "Where do I start?"

Well, get some training.  that is step 1.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who put the badge on their chest of "I am a DOULA" but they really don't understand or know how to serve.  What they want to be is an advisor, a consultant.  And that is very needed!  It's OK!!  It really is!  

However, moms need nonjudgemental, unconditional love first, practical service helps next, and our gentle, guiding knowledge (read: advice) last.  So if you've got a lot of wisdom to share, good!  It's needed!!!  Still, navigating the emotions and perceptions of a tender, vulnerable mother is something that MOST of us need a little guidance on, ourselves.  

Where can you find the best doula training?  Simple.  There are a lot of organizations out there providing trainings.  You'll want to make sure the training you receive is of the top-tier quality though.  It's integral to the success of your business and the impact (positive or negative) that you will have on the mothers you come into contact with.  Imagine what the family would say about you, when you're gone, if you've unintentionally made the mother feel badly about something, or you gave advice and it backfired.  What if you gave advice and the baby or mothers'  health suffered for it...?  It happens.  

You'll earn a bad reputation and you will have spent money to get trained, and have wasted it.

You don't want that to happen to you!  Get trained AND finish your certification!  Parents are getting wise to ask if you're just "trained" or attended a workshop, or if you're actually CERTIFIED.  They know the difference and it matters.

The next thing you want to know about your training organization is if they will help you create and grow your business.  Will they help you become successful?  We will discuss building and growing a doula business next week.  :)

Follow this blog (click on the right) and you'll receive the next posts in this series right to your email.

If you're interested in knowing about my experience with training under several different organizations over the years, give me a call.  I will be happy to tell you what I found to be pros and cons of each organization, as well as the organization I found a home with.  :)

Have a great week!

Anne Croudace, CLD, CPD, CLDT, CPDT, CLSE

952-457-6506

Nurses Hotline? No.

So often, postpartum doulas get confused with "baby nurses"
but they are not the same!  And it reminds me that parents often don't know the difference between real baby nurses (like the RN kind who work with doctors) or the babysitter kind who are not necessarily trained in anything...

Postpartum doulas are trained (and our San Antonio Doulas are not just trained, but also certified by MaternityWise International) in supporting the mother and helping her to care for her baby without completely doing it for her.  We are often called baby nurses because people don't know the term "postpartum doula".  And they also often don't know the difference.

A baby nurse traditionally (the non-medical kind) will take care of your baby for you like a nanny or grandmother.  Years ago, she was also considered a nurse because she literally nursed the baby - yes breastfed it.  This was common among affluent families and especially in the south.  Don't be squeamish.  Get over it.  It happened.  And for mothers who truly didn't make enough milk, it was a godsend.

These baby nurses usually had experience with babies children, and took over the mothering duties to allow the mother more freedom to live a less motherly life.  Remember Peter Pan?  The dog was the "nurse".  Many children's stories have a nanny who is referred to as the "nurse".  Again, don't be offended.  It happened.  And it still happens.  If you don't want to be one of those mothers, it is OK!  You can get an extra hand and get some more sleep without giving up your mother-ness.

MaternityWise Certified Postpartum Doulas are trained in helping to empower the mother who wants to be THE mother.  :)  We can help troubleshoot breastfeeding issues and assist with mom's nutritional needs.  We can give advice on everything baby related including gassy, fussy colicky babies, burping, diaper rash, food sensitivities, gentle sleep training assistance, etc.  Meanwhile we can also help with more practical matters such as laundry and dishes, and meal prep as well as errands - so that your world can revolve around your baby!!  (as it should)

Now, to clear up a few things.... 

We at Tranquil Seasons Doulas in San Antonio, come into your home, listen to you as the mother.  We ask questions and get to know you and your baby and your preference in the way of doing things.  At some point, we may have tips to tweak your routine, and you might ask us loads of questions and want all of our advice, but we never "walk in and take over".  A number of the services in our city do just that, and parents come to us, worried that we will do the same.  They don't want a less expensive, less qualified service, if it means having a stranger come in to tell them how to rearrange their lives.  Neither would I.

I was speaking to a mother recently, who is expecting twins.  She said something very wise.  She knows that there is no way to really plan for or know in advance exactly the way things will go with the twins, but she wants to learn and she wants to have the freedom to make mistakes.  I thought that to be one of the most healthy and mature perspectives on early parenting that a mother could have.  It is going to be a real pleasure to walk that journey alongside her, assisting, supporting, never judging or "bossing", but having her back, reassuring and helping her learn about her babies at her own pace.

One more clarification...

We are NOT a baby nurse hotline - as in the medical kind.
I've had several calls in the middle of the night recently with parents I've never met asking whether or not they should take their baby into the emergency room.  I could hear the concern and the anxiety in their voices, but this is not something I can help with.  They were not my clients, I did not know them or their baby.  I had no prior history or experience with them.  Unfortunately, I could not give them the listening ear they wanted.  If their baby was exhibiting symptoms that concerned them, I explained, they needed to contact their pediatrician's office.

While I might be able to explain what normal is for my clients, it will always be in their hands to make the decision to seek medical treatment or not.  As a doula, my job is to educate, but not to make a parent feel pressured to make a choice in any direction.  That is not my decision, because it is not my baby.

That probably sums it up.  We are not the parents.  We are the assistants.  The servants.
The Doulas.
And you'll be glad we limit our care to the Scope of Practice in which we do.
Because we know our place, our role, we do it well and the benefits you'll receive are immeasurable.

If you need help getting sleep, or caring for your newborn, and you want advice that could make your life easier in this sometimes rocky transition, please visit our website or give us a call.

Many Blessings,
Anne Croudace
CLD, CPD, CLDT, CPDT, CLSE
Tranquil Seasons Doulas in San Antonio, TX
210-548-8800

Delayed Cord Cutting - What's All the Fuss?

Healthy start for newborns safe in mothers' arms

Originally published by the BBC:

A new study shows that newborn babies can reap the health benefits of a delay in cutting their umbilical cord - whilst they're safe in their mothers' arms.

It had been thought that gravity was necessary for the blood to drain from the placenta to the baby - who had to be held lower than the mother.

But research carried out in Argentina has shown that babies can still benefit from this "extra" blood during their first cuddle.  More from Health Check

-----------------------

So... I have a question.  If moments before birth, baby was essentially on top of mom, and receiving it's blood supply then...  How does it differ, if he is now on top of mom (albeit on top of her skin, instead of under it) in terms of the blood flow of the umbilical cord?  

If a cord has enough strong pressure pumping through it, to prevent a true knot from cutting off baby's blood supply as demonstrated by this little boy's internal acrobatics and the result thereof...  how is this small difference of on top of mother or not, going to make a significant impact?

Sure, I get how gravity may make placental infusion of a newborn's blood happen faster, but who is in a rush and why?  I think the true question here is how long to wait before interfering in the natural process?  Can you watch this beautiful process unfold or must you control it, manage it, and interrupt it...?  And why would you?

Is anybody asking these questions?

Parents, Are you?

Do we really need to leave it to Argentina to tell us what is best for our babies?  (No offense, Argentinians!!)

While you're writing your birth plan, read up on early vs delayed cord clamping.  And then ask yourself the questions of how logical is any of it.  Is there another mammal on the planet who cuts or clamps the cord of their young before the placenta is even expelled?  I'll give you the short answer: No.  So why are we?

Sometimes nature already does what scientists just haven't had time yet to discover.

Just sayin... The world HAS been peopled after all.

Become a certified doula.  Attend a doula training, and be better equipped to answer these questions!

The Many Hats of a Postpartum Doula - Part 2

 Part 2

So just what does a postpartum doula do? 

Remember, not all doulas are made alike.  Since doulas are an unregulated occupation, many women call themselves doulas without any doula training or certification.  Find someone who is not only a Certified doula, but also has references to help you be assured she's got the skills and integrity your families needs to rely on during this vulnerable, and blissful time in your life.

In addition to what we already mentioned in part 1, a postpartum doula’s hats can also include:

4. Peer to Peer Counselor. Is mom feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, or just simply overwhelmed with her new role? Mom’s postpartum doula is there to guide her through this time of transition. Giving birth is a huge feat to accomplish! Recovering not just in physical but emotional ways is crucial for any mother. Her postpartum doula is there to counsel her through this time.

5. Personal Assistant. With dad heading back to work and mom still transitioning, wouldn’t it be nice if someone else could go get the milk? A postpartum doula is more than happy to run errands for mom and dad including grocery shopping, picking up baby items, and more.

6. Newborn Nanny. Another dirty diaper? Postpartum doulas can assist with feedings and diaper changes. This is especially wonderful at night so that mom and dad can catch up on much-needed sleep. No need to wake -- baby will be taken care of by the loving arms of the postpartum doula.

The ultimate goal of any postpartum doula is to be a professional mother. No, not a mother to the baby, but a mother to the new mother.  She is there to support, guide, nurture, and love mom as she travels this sacred journey. Even seasoned mothers can gain from the experience and assistance of a postpartum doula as the family transitions into life with a new baby.

Would your family benefit from a postpartum doula? 
Contact Tranquil Seasons where we will gladly serve you and your family’s needs during this exciting time! 

Call 210-548-8800 
www.tranquilseasons.com 
or email annecwj@gmail.com for a consultation.

How nice! Massage in Labor...

Did you know....?
Massage benefits laboring moms in a lot of ways!

When was the last time you had a massage? It may have been a professional massage at a spa or it could have just been a quick backrub from your honey, but didn’t it feel good?

According to research, massages can actually assist mothers to labor faster and more comfortably. Even a quick and simple massage can do wonders for decreasing a mother’s anxiety and pain. 
Just check out the findings from this study:
“Twenty-eight women were recruited from prenatal classes and randomly assigned to receive massage in addition to coaching in breathing during labor, or to receive coaching in breathing alone. The massaged mothers reported a decrease in depressed mood, anxiety and pain, and showed less agitated activity and anxiety and more positive affect following the first massage during labor. In addition the massaged mothers had shorter labors, a shorter hospital stay and less postpartum depression.” (1)

During labor, sometimes the focus can all be put on having the mother breath and push. Without a relaxed body, however, focusing all energy (emotional and physical) on these important tasks becomes difficult for mom. Having nurturing support she can trust and feel safe with is important.  Massage facilitates this.

That’s where a well-trained, certified, professional Doula comes in. Having a doula there who knows how to massage and comfort a mother with touch throughout the labor process means that mom can receive that much-needed massage any time she needs it! Find a doula who is certified and specifically trained in maternal-fetal positioning, and the best techniques for helping mom relax her muscles. A massage during labor (whether from Dad or Doula) also allows the mother to breathe easier and keep her rhythm. The results? A less-stressed, less-depressed mom and a shorter labor process and hospital stay. 

Who can say no to that? 


Resources:
(1) Field, T., Hernandez-Reif, M., Taylor , S., Quintino, O., & Burman, I. (1997). 
Labor pain is reduced by massage therapy. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics and 
Gynecology, 18, 286-291.

Pregnancy and Birth are Normal Functions of the Female Body

Pregnancy and birth is a normal physiological function of the female body.  In general, the female body is as capable of pregnancy and birth as it is breathing, digesting food or passing urine.  It is logical to assume that interference is not necessary unless and until a problem presents itself, and not unless or until there is evidence that the body’s self-correcting restorative capabilities are not meeting the need of the problem.

It is also very important to remember that the variety and ability of the female body to conceive, carry and birth a baby constitute a large range of “normal”.  For example: Just because one woman labors best in a certain position does not mean that all women labor best in that position.  That “best” position may not suit the same woman in subsequent labors, either.  The ways in which they can “get the job done” is as varied as the women themselves and the babies they carry. 

Everything in a woman’s life changes when she gets pregnant.  Her body’s changes are the most prominent because we can look at her and it's right there.  However, change is also present in the way she sees and thinks about herself and the world around her - as well as the way the world sees and thinks about her.  The mothering instinct is quite strong and predominant in some, while it is more subdued or delayed in others.  

No matter what the mother thought or felt about herself before, she will now envision herself with another person in her life depending on every breath and calorie - unlike any relationship before it.  That transition will manifest in beautiful ways when she is supported properly during pregnancy, labor, birth and the postpartum period.  But hey, you already knew that!   Congratulations!

Have you ever considered becoming a doula?  Are you good at smoothing things over and keeping things calm when others around you are freaking out?  You might be a doula on the inside.  :) 

Our job as normalizing anchors…

We as doulas are meant to be a sounding board for mothers.  They will usually tell us how they are feeling, in detail.  We are so lucky to get a glimpse into the intimate part of a woman’s journey, whether this is her first or 10^th pregnancy.  

It is always our responsibility to have an accepting, nurturing attitude toward the mother.  I call it “putting on love” toward her.  As we do this, we can help to normalize things she is concerned about or may cause alarm in others when truly it’s not a crisis.  She needs someone to be sturdy, and someone she can count on to provide her with reassurance.  

Tell her all you know, while focusing on the positive, and being realistic about the negative – that women have been growing babies and giving birth for eons, and she’s not broken or strange.  One thing I say is to look around, the world has been peopled!  

You’re not the first, and you probably won’t be the last to experience ____________.

Doulas are not all the same, but a well-trained, professional doula who has the integrity of being certified is going to have the skills to nurture and keep you calm when labor gets difficult, and all the times before that too.  

Be picky about who you choose, and remember...  Experience (in years and number of families served) is valuable and it's is worth paying for.

May your birth be blessed with peace and rest.

Anne Croudace

New Mothers Speak Out

What do you think?

The New Mothers Speak Out (PDF) report presents postpartum results from both surveys and gives a ground-breaking view of experiences of mothers with young children in the United States at this time. The surveys were conducted by Harris Interactive and carried out in partnership with Lamaze International.

New Mothers Speak Out reports that life is challenging for many women at this time, who Report highlights include:The report also includes dozens of comments from the mothers themselves about these topics.· experienced new physical and emotional problems following technology-intensive births with high rates of surgery and other interventions:

· struggled to get exercise and rest, eat a healthy diet and manage stress

· did not return to their pre-pregnancy weight

· got limited support from husbands/partners and others

· were unable to start or continue breastfeeding as they wanted

· wanted but did not have the maternity benefits that women in other affluent countries take for granted

· returned too quickly to employment due to financial pressure.

Extent to which mothers experienced 26 health conditions as a new problem in the first two months after birth, and extent to which the problems persisted to six months or more

 Net weight gain above mothers' weight just before pregnancy over the first 18 months after birth

Results of two validated postpartum depression screening tools

First national data about post-traumatic stress with reference to women's childbirth experience, using a validated screening tool:

· Breastfeeding patterns and whether mothers achieved their goals for exclusive breastfeeding and for duration of breastfeeding

· Baby co-sleeping with mother or others in first six months

· How women and their husbands or partners shared child care

· How women rated the support they received from their husbands or partners and from others

· Extent to which women who were employed in pregnancy received paid maternity leave benefits versus their ideal length of paid maternity leave

· Patterns of staying home with baby and transitioning to employment over the first 18 months after birth

· Whether employed women were able to to stay home with their babies as long as they wanted

· Challenges in the transition to employment after birth

What do you feel about these assessments?

http://www.tranquilseasons.com

210-548-8800

What is a Postpartum Doula?

Postpartum Doulas

Tranquil Seasons provides postpartum mother-care, newborn-care and support to families with newborns, including multiples, preemies and special needs babies. This service goes above and beyond what is offered by Overnight Baby Nurses and Newborn Nannies.

Postpartum Doulas that work with Tranquil Seasons are highly trained, skilled professionals, with an ethics board and international certifying association behind them, which "newborn nannies" and "baby nurses" don't have.

We use an International Board Certification Body for all of our postpartum doula training and certification

Certified Postpartum Doulas assist the new mother and her family in:

     - breastfeeding support,
     - emotional support for mom,
     - Postpartum Depression/Anxiety care and recovery
     - Assistance w/Multiples, Preemies and Special Needs babies
     - newborn care and education,
     - comforting techniques, and teaching how to soothe a crying baby,
     - stimulating your baby's intelligence and learning abilities,
     - circumcision care and bathing,
     - feeding, burping, and holding techniques
     - household maintenance such as dishes, laundry, etc.
     - meal preparation
     - sibling care
     - overnight newborn care so parents can get the rest they need
     - preparing your home for baby & Going GREEN!

In-home support is vital to a new family’s success - whatever form it takes.  We make sure the mother is getting enough rest and eating well so she can produce enough breast milk to feed her newborn(s). If the mother is bottle feeding her baby, the doulas are trained in sterilization and in preparation of formula.

To learn more about this special kind of care for your family,
Please give us a call 210-548-8800
or visit our website:  http://www.tranquilseasons.com 

What is a Labor Doula?

Labor Doulas

A Certified Labor Doula is an assistant or coach, who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, informational and emotional) during pregnancy and in the childbirth process.  She may attend a home birth or might support the mother and her partner during labor at home and continue while in transport and then remain with the mother until settled after the birth at a hospital or a birth center.  Tranquil Seasons only hires Certified Doulas.  We always require doulas, previously certified or not, to go through our training, because the standard of the organization we use for labor doula certification is head and shoulders above any of the others we have seen out there.

During delivery, doulas are in constant, close proximity to the mother at all times. They can provide comfort with pain relief techniques, such as breathing, relaxing, massage and laboring positions. Doulas also encourage participation from the partner and offer reassurance.  A doula acts as an advocate for the mother, encouraging her in her desires for her birth.  Tranquil Seasons are also trained in-depth on maternal fetal positioning.  This is a specialized skill that helps promote the swifter, easier and more comfortable dilation of the cervix and more efficient descent of the baby.

The goal of a doula is to adapt to and support the mother’s philosophy and help her to have a positive and safe birth experience, whether the mother wants an un-medicated birth or is having a planned cesarean birth. 

The doula is the ONLY one outside of family, who is hired by and there specifically for the mother, and has no conflicts of interest such as employment by the physician/midwife/hospital or any other reason for bias.

After the birth, Tranquil Seasons Doulas will spend as much time as needed helping mothers begin the breastfeeding process and encouraging bonding between the new baby and family members.  Our jobs are not done just because the baby has arrived!  :)

Hiring a Certified Labor Doula will decrease your chances of cesarean. Tranquil Seasons owner Anne Croudace, has cared for over 270 families.  Out of all the births she has attended, only 3 ended in an unplanned (though very necessary) cesareans. That's a pretty encouraging statistic. While she cannot make you any guarantees, you have more than a good chance of avoiding a surgical birth when you've got Anne or one of the doulas she has trained, by your side.

Call for more info:
210-548-8800
or visit our website:
http://www.tranquilseasons.com

Sample Birth Plan

Look into your options...
Here is a sample, offered by one of our clients to give other moms a good starting point.

Feel free to use wording from it, or even copy and paste.  If you have questions about any of the preferences listed, please let me know and I will be glad to explain the family's intent as well as further resources regarding each item.

Remember, your birth plan should be 1 page long and include a categorized list of your wishes and preferences in each stage of your childbirth experience.

 

Birth Plan

Labor:

·         I would like my husband, Jason, and doula, Anne, to stay with me at all times.

·         I request that pain medication NOT be offered to me; if I decide to use pain medications, I will request them.

·         In the event of labor augmentation, I would like to try alternate methods prior to use of Pitocin.

·         I prefer no IV fluids unless I am dehydrated such that juices, electrolyte water, and other drinks do not properly hydrate me.

Pushing:

·         I request the freedom to choose various pushing and delivery positions; to include squatting, hands & knees, or whatever may feel right at the time.

·         I ask that no episiotomy be performed; I would like warm compresses and perineal massage prior to delivery.

·         When it is time to push, I’d like to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits as long as my baby and I are doing fine.

 

Immediately Postpartum:

·         I request that the umbilical cord not be clamped, or even touched until it is white and limp. I request to be allowed to naturally deliver the placenta; I request to have the placenta stored safely and unaltered so that we may take the placenta home for encapsulation.

·         I request that the immediate care of my baby be done on my abdomen or chest with skin-to-skin contact for as long as possible.

·         I plan to exclusively breastfeed and request that no supplements or pacifiers be given. If my baby needs to be fed by bottle or other means, I would like to pump my breasts and provide breast milk throughout the hospital stay.

Newborn:

·         I ask that all newborn care be done in my room.

·         If my baby requires special nursery care, I request access to him at any time.

Special Circumstances:

·         If the above ideals must be altered for medical necessity, I ask that we be given as much time as safely possible to consider all our options before procedures are done.

·         In the event of a cesarean delivery, I would like my partner and doula with me.

·         If cesarean is necessary, I would like contact with my baby as soon as possible and during recovery.

·         In the event of a stillbirth or death of my baby, I would like contact with him as long as desired afterwards.

Am I Making Enough Milk?

Breastfeeding and the New Mom

Something I haven't mentioned that I also do for families is I support breastfeeding for many mothers, and as a postpartum doula client with us, you will receive free, ongoing breastfeeding support as part of our care. If you choose to bottle feed or formula feed, don't let that stop you from getting help.  We support all families, but we DO have the ability to help you through all phases of breastfeeding - should you decide that is how you want to nourish your little one.

This isn't the norm for doula care.  I've received special training and certification as a Lactation Support and Educator.  Not all doulas have this additional training, but many are still wonderful when it comes to the basics of breastfeeding support.

Like the mother I met with today, at times, you might also find yourself wondering if you are making enough milk. Babies go through growth spurts that can trick us into thinking we aren't producing enough because they are gobbling it all up and wanting more - which is good, because in the end, it will increase your supply.

Think:  More Demand => More Supply. 

 

So today, I was visiting a lovely mama who is adjusting to life with her new baby.  She asked me to visit because she was concerned about her supply.  I offered to bring my newborn scale so that we could do a little experiment... 

 

We were able to weigh the baby after waking and a diaper change (9 pounds, 3 ounces), then she fed from both breasts for a total of 25 minutes (he was efficient, relaxed and happy when he was done).  Then we weighed him again (9 pounds, 6 ounces). 

 

Low and behold! Even though he had been eating like a crazy little monster and acting like he wasn't getting much, he was actually eating 3 ounces total from both breasts - which is a lot for a newborn of his age (3 weeks)!! 

 

He has also grown over a pound since I last saw him, we discovered. So that answers a lot of questions for that mom, and reassures her that she is doing everything right and he is just growing super fast and that her breasts WILL catch up to his demand for more milk. :)

 

My #1 piece of advice for new moms who are experiencing what feels like a set-back in their breastfeeding relationship, is to seek out qualified help.  Do you have a breastfeeding consultant who can come to your house?  Those are the best.  We have support available, and if a situation goes above and beyond our expertise, we have resources in the community that we are happy to direct you to, in order to get your needs and the needs of your baby met, in a timely, professional manner.

 

Keep checking back, because soon, I will be posting another segment on how to make your best milk.  Quantity AND Quality.  :)

 

For now, keep loving those babies, mamas!

Anne

 

Postpartum doulas and lactation support in San Antonio

 

 

 

Simple Summary of Our Care

So, you've probably read a lot about doulas by now...
Not all doulas are the same.  Tranquil Seasons Doulas have specific, ongoing training in several modalities.

What is a good, simple summary of our care?

During Childbirth…

During labor and delivery, we support you at all times with emotional, informational and physical care.  We provide you with education and resources before and during your childbirth experience to help you stay comfortable and to relieve anxiety.  We provide non-pharmacological pain relief including massage, and maternal/fetal positioning to help keep you relaxed and to allow the baby to descend quickly, easily, safely.  We never take the place of your partner.  In fact we encourage participation and offer reassurance and guidance so that this experience is positive for both parents!

After Childbirth…

After birth, Postpartum Doulas help with breastfeeding, infant care, and understanding newborn feeding and sleep habits.  The calm, loving, gentle presence of a doula alleviates stress and helps mothers recover from birth

 in a positive, healthy way.  This assists in preventing or recovering from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety as well as Post-Traumatic Stress - which some mothers and babies experience after a difficult birth.

To speak with Doulas in San Antonio:
www.TranquilSeasons.com
210-548-8800

Birth CommUNITY - Can we all just get along?! :)

Over the years, I've taught many different aspects of birth work.  I've taught maternity care ethics, doula certification workshops, midwifery prep courses, parenting classes, gentle infant "sleep training", childbirth preparation and lactation education, support group facilitation, small business marketing and even helped form a few birthy co-ops along the way... 

There's a lot to be said about the birth communities I've become acquainted with.  The variety is astounding.

Some are catty and awful - like a corporate scene where everyone steps on the others in order to get to what they imagine is the "top" of the pile.  Others are peaceful, encouraging, cooperative and truly sisterly.  What is interesting is that all groups want to see birth practices change.  They want to see improved outcomes.  They all would stand up for women's rights.  So how can they be so different in this thing we call a COMMUNITY...?

I think the main answer is where did they come from, and what's the undertone of the "oldies" in their area?  Let me explain.  If they are moms who come from a high-level corporate background, they are more likely to treat this new career with the same growth and glass ceiling mentality as their previous corporate America jobs.  So back-biting and one-up-manship is the norm.  Likewise, if the women who have been around a long time, doing birth-work in your city have a superiority complex or a corporation complex, you will see the younger, newer women taking on that same mentality.

Isn't it interesting that as women-servants - whether midwives, doulas, childbirth educators etc. - we are meant to be modeling love, acceptance, nonjudgmental attitudes, and most of all, self-sacrificing promotion of the best in others.  We "oldies" who have been around a while should really be the best models of this since we have had more time to practice.  :-)

So, how do we do it?  Practically speaking, what does this kind of care model and commUNITY model look like?

First of all.....
1. Stop the gossip.  Don't do it and don't listen to it, or you'll be tempted to share it.  This is the number one problem, tearing apart birth communities today.  People can smell a gossip a mile away.  You're only spreading a stinky reputation about yourself.

2. If a client tells you something about a previous caregiver, GO to that person, and encourage your client to be honest with them as well, if appropriate.  Don't text the other provider or email them, for heaven's sake.  Set a time to sit down over lunch or coffee and tell them directly, what the client's concern was.  How can we grow if we don't know where we failed?  When you speak directly about an issue to another provider, it shows that you are committed to not gossiping and that develops trust.  If you don't have the nerve to talk to them, you certainly should have the scruples to keep it to yourself.

3. Have a humble heart.  Serving requires humility.  Be willing to look at faults and mistakes and change.  The last and least helpful thing you can be is defensive.  It makes you look bad, too.

4. A BIG one - Stay out of other people's drama.  Even your clients' - if you can help it.  Don't expend your energy on anything that is not uplifting you, your family and others close to you.  You don't want to be labeled a busy-body or a drama queen. (this also applies to sharing your drama with others who aren't in your tightest circle of family/friends - just don't do it!)

5. Commit to getting to know your fellow birth workers.  Join or start a local birth collective group where the community can be built up.  Working together helps immensely!  Plan events, educational opportunities, and ways to promote each other as well as healthy birth.

6. Don't segregate.  Midwives need to get to know doulas, doulas need to get to know childbirth educators, etc, etc.  The birthing community is smaller than you think.  You all need to know each other, learn about each others' strengths and offerings so you have resources to provide your clients and yourself as you seek to improve birth practices in your area.

There are lots more tips I could give, but the main thing to consider is how you view your fellow birth workers.  Think long and hard about this.  Is there someone specific in the community that you don't get along with?  Don't fall off your chair now... You should bless her.  Send her a card.  Take her out for lunch.  Invite her to an event you're going to.

It's possible.  We are obligated to be models of love and acceptance.  We should help create and then celebrate each others' successes and when we do, the birth community as a whole will be lifted up.

Looking forward to more UNITY in birth.
Anne

Doulas - San Antonio
http://www.sabirthcollective.com

Historical Doula

Couldn't have said it better myself:

"Having someone by your side during the marathon we call childbirth is not only helpful, but it's historical.
What do we mean by that?

 

Well, for as far back as there are birth stories to be told, you will hear about women attended by other women, supported, encouraged, and often times physically held by the strong arms of this wise, nurturing companion.

Doulas are nothing new, but they have found a name for themselves in the Greek. To be simple, it means servant. With a humble heart, these precious women patiently wait with the mother while actively assisting her to labor more quickly, easily, and safely. Doulas provide information, reassurance, positioning and pain relief without the use of drugs."
Thanks, MaternityWise International, for that!!

To get more familiar with doulas, please read my other blog posts.
If you feel an urge to become a doula yourself, feel free to send me an email and ask some questions about the process.
You can also find more here:
http://www.maternitywise.com

 

Who is Anne Doula? (Part 1)

Client:  "Hey Grandma, come meet Anne.  She's my doula!"

Client's Grandmother:  "Hello Anne Doula.  That is a curious last name.  Is it French?"

hahahahaha
and so I became Anne Doula.

Doula is actually a Greek word.  It's used in the Bible when describing Jesus, as He washed his disciples' feet.  He took on the form of a "Doulos" or male servant.

Doula generally referred to the woman servant, who helped the mother of the household with pregnancy, birth and childrearing in the early years.  She was a hand-maiden, a personal assistant, a second mama, a close friend, confidant, and often she was also a wet-nurse.

These days, there are women who call themselves doulas, yet have no training, or even any idea that doula = servant.  They hear the term, want to attend births cause it sounds exciting, and then off they go, calling themselves a doula...  hmmmmm.....  not cool.

Why is it not cool?  Well, for several very good, very important reasons: 

1. Mothers hear about doulas in the media, or from books about pregnancy, and they kind of have an expectation of what sort of value and skill-set a doula will bring to their experience.  If all doulas are on different levels as far as education and philosophy, how can mothers know who to choose, what is a reasonable amount to pay, what to expect, etc.?
2. Birth isn't always easy, fast, or safe.  Don't get me wrong, I birthed my last 2 of 5 babies at home, and one arrived before the midwife, so I'm probably what you'd call a "Birth-Truster" and I believe that birth is normally safe, and that interference and intervention is normally risky.  However, we do know how bad information can lead to bad choices which can lead to bad outcomes.  This is a HUGE reason why doulas - who give advice and help mothers to educate themselves - need to know their role, when to refer moms to a specific professional, and what is a silly trend and what is serious medicine.  Untrained, uncertified women who call themselves doulas are not qualified, and often do not know or understand the bounds of what their role entails as a complementary care provider.  Because of this, you often find they lack the information parents really need, and sadly, they also lack the ethical standards as well.
3. Unfortunately, women who feel they don't need training, or are above attaining a certification, are many times, the same women who have their own birth trauma or other serious personal issues to deal with.  I was just speaking to a dad yesterday, who said he had interviewed half a dozen doulas in our city, and each one revealed through their philosophy, personal stories, or unsolicited advice their own resentment toward a doctor or nurse during their own experiences.
4. Women who claim to be "trained" but cannot provide you with their credentials are basically women who are shortcutting the system.  They took a workshop, but they didn't have the integrity to complete the rest of their training.  In my opinion, they should not be calling themselves "trained" simply because they did not complete the entire "training process".  Parents are getting savvy to this however, and more and more families are turning down doulas who don't have those coveted letters after their name or a certification award to prove they completed a course to become a true doula.
5. When a woman cannot afford doula care, there are a few states where it is mandated for insurance companies to reimburse a portion of their care expenses.  Why would insurance companies want to reimburse for care that has no value to them?  Saving them money is how doulas look good to the insurance company.  How would having a doula save them money?  By lowering the cesarean risk, for starters.  So it's important that certified doulas continue to seek out insurance reimbursement.  That, and the fact that mothers who want doula care, but cannot afford it will be more likely to receive that care including better outcomes for themselves and their babies, if insurance companies were on board with paying a portion of that expense.  Some states like Minnesota and Pennsylvania already do.
6. The last and perhaps most upsetting reason (to me) of why it's not cool that women take on the title "Doula" without completing a certification process is that is blows the stats of good doulas out of whack.  For example, the Cochrane report from the 1990's showed that having a doula by your side reduced the rate of cesarean by almost half.  In the late 2000's, after being a doula became trendy, that rate in another Cochrane review showed that the stat was now hovering around 25%  Why?  Because women who are not properly trained are out there practicing and mothers are not getting the benefit of having a skilled woman by their side.  Those numbers, by the way, tell me that having an uncertified doula means your rates of cesarean is no different that those of the general public without a doula.

Part 2 coming soon............

Becoming a Doula-Minded Birth Advocate

Many years ago, I was holding hands of friends in labor, and walking the halls with newborns so mothers could sleep.  I was changing diapers of babies with RSV and cuddling moms who cried over their birth stories. 

I gave birth to my first baby at age 17.  I didn't know anything.  I never had any idea that someone might think I wouldn't succeed at delivering vaginally.  I didn't know the cesarean statistic or that women still gave birth at home.  No one ever bothered to tell me that my breasts would fill with milk, whether or not I chose to breastfeed.  I didn't wonder how I would ever push a baby out or if I could manage the discomforts of labor.  Nor did I think about whether I wanted drugs or not for pain.  I honestly did not have a clue they were even an option.  I just figured you had a baby and that was that.  There was so much I was ignorant of.

There was so much I didn't know, that I had no time or inclination or reason to question the natural processes my body went through.  I didn't question my weight gain.  Never thought about how much amniotic fluid I had or if I might catch the flu.  I went on my way, carrying my baby and eating, eating, eating, dancing and walking and enjoying every kick and flutter.  Can you imagine a pregnancy like that nowadays?  That was only 1992/1993.  Not really that long ago.  Over the last 20 years, what has happened in our society, in our medical care system, in our circles of friends and family that has turned the perception of birth into such a frantic, frightening, and frustrating scenario?

Ask yourself these questions: 

• When I've heard about birth, what was a main theme in each story? 
• Did I feel fear upon hearing the story? 
• What has shaped my ideas about birth?  Mother? Aunts? Sisters? the Media?
• When I've spoke of birth, what has been the tone and intention of my story? 
• Have I told a Hollywood version of my experience, looking for the oohs and awws or have I told the boring details right along side the exciting ones? 
• Have I been truly, completely honest when talking about my birth with people?

Consider your answers and consider also what part you've played in influencing the women and girls around you and their perception of birth.  Perhaps you've built healthy ideals, or perhaps you are now recognizing that you can do better.

I'm interested to hear how you might make some changes in your own birth-speak, or how you feel we can better affirm our societies' positive ideas on birth.

-Anne