Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations - Part 2 Setting a Solid Foundation

Continuing on the thread of messing with moms' minds as part of the profit-driven practitioner...

Have you ever been told at your 37/38/39 week prenatal, during a vaginal exam, that you're ___cm and ___% effaced and "baby is really low"?

Was it followed with, "I doubt you'll make it through the weekend"...?

It seems like that was the previous trend (before the unfavorable cervix shenanigans began) that OBs and even midwives were using to build an expectation in mothers' and partners' minds.  Again, education is the key to overcoming this silly gullibility before birth and the depression due to regret that comes afterward.

Put yourself in the profit-driven practitioner's shoes.
What happens is this: As a profit-driven practitioner, you tell a woman what you're "expecting" and since you're the professional, so she expects it too.  Mother tells all her friends and family members that she's bound to go into labor before the weekend.  She builds it up in her mind.  She finishes the nesting, packs her bags, over-analyzes her cravings, her sleep, her poop, her aches, pains and everything her body does.  Poor thing gets all excited.  Day after day she wakes up, and expects that today will be the day.  Then it doesn't happen - because she and her baby are not ready, but your prediction has effectively poisoned the waters.

Imagine how she feels...  A strange combination of disability, failure, impotence, embarrassment, even shame.  She wonders what is wrong with her (but doesn't question what was wrong with the prediction, because her heart is tender and vulnerably focused inward, as it should be).  Another week passes and her anxiety increases.

Her family and friends are sharing this unrealistic expectation and start pressuring: "What's wrong?"  "Haven't you had that baby yet?"  "This happened to _____ and she had to have a cesarean because her body just wouldn't go into labor."

Half of the work of a profit-driven practitioner is done for him/her already!  
Guess who is now primed and ready to sign up for that induction...
and worse, the scheduled cesarean, which is allowable after 37 weeks for very little reason - if any.  All that needs to be done now, is to give it an official diagnosis:  Failure to progress, Unfavorable cervix, Low amniotic fluid, YOU NAME IT, we can put a labor on it.  :)

Remember how I mentioned the depression due to regret earlier?  These are the moms whose babies end up in the NICU, whose deeply desired breastfeeding is ruined, whose baby struggles in their first weeks and months to thrive and grow, because they are so sleepy, jaundice, allergic to formula.

I just want moms to stop signing up for the snowball effect with their eyes closed.  I want them to be educated about the process of birth.  I want them to know how their bodies REALLY work and that they were built for this process.  I want them to understand that their mind is where the battle really is - not their bodies.  And if they can trust themselves to give birth the way they trust themselves to do anything else, they will give birth when their baby says they are ready, and they will have a healthy, alert, good eater and good sleeper in their arms upon delivery.

The USA has a profit driven health care system.  If you want to make lots of money, this would be a great industry to get into.  That is, until individuals begin to take responsibility for their own health and begin to question what is being recommended to them.  At some point, the insurance industry is going to fall apart because the public cannot afford to pay and the industry itself cannot sustain the abuse it's been funding for decades.

Most of all, I think we as women need to get back to the way we've cared for the health of our families for millennia - and that is to educate ourselves but follow our intuition.  Why have we replaced intuition and good sense with beeps and pills?

Your children depend on your good sense and intuition for all other areas of their lives and well-being.  Don't let them down on the day they arrive earth-side.

To learn more, to be mentored, or to take online interactive childbirth classes, please give me a call and I will be happy to direct you to some fantastic resources.

May this new year be the year you start asking questions and taking charge of your own health and the health of your family.  You deserve to have respectful, honest caregivers and so do your children.

Warmly,
Anne Croudace
952-457-6506
http://www.maternitywise.com

New Mothers Speak Out

What do you think?

The New Mothers Speak Out (PDF) report presents postpartum results from both surveys and gives a ground-breaking view of experiences of mothers with young children in the United States at this time. The surveys were conducted by Harris Interactive and carried out in partnership with Lamaze International.

New Mothers Speak Out reports that life is challenging for many women at this time, who Report highlights include:The report also includes dozens of comments from the mothers themselves about these topics.· experienced new physical and emotional problems following technology-intensive births with high rates of surgery and other interventions:

· struggled to get exercise and rest, eat a healthy diet and manage stress

· did not return to their pre-pregnancy weight

· got limited support from husbands/partners and others

· were unable to start or continue breastfeeding as they wanted

· wanted but did not have the maternity benefits that women in other affluent countries take for granted

· returned too quickly to employment due to financial pressure.

Extent to which mothers experienced 26 health conditions as a new problem in the first two months after birth, and extent to which the problems persisted to six months or more

 Net weight gain above mothers' weight just before pregnancy over the first 18 months after birth

Results of two validated postpartum depression screening tools

First national data about post-traumatic stress with reference to women's childbirth experience, using a validated screening tool:

· Breastfeeding patterns and whether mothers achieved their goals for exclusive breastfeeding and for duration of breastfeeding

· Baby co-sleeping with mother or others in first six months

· How women and their husbands or partners shared child care

· How women rated the support they received from their husbands or partners and from others

· Extent to which women who were employed in pregnancy received paid maternity leave benefits versus their ideal length of paid maternity leave

· Patterns of staying home with baby and transitioning to employment over the first 18 months after birth

· Whether employed women were able to to stay home with their babies as long as they wanted

· Challenges in the transition to employment after birth

What do you feel about these assessments?

http://www.tranquilseasons.com

210-548-8800

What is a Postpartum Doula?

Postpartum Doulas

Tranquil Seasons provides postpartum mother-care, newborn-care and support to families with newborns, including multiples, preemies and special needs babies. This service goes above and beyond what is offered by Overnight Baby Nurses and Newborn Nannies.

Postpartum Doulas that work with Tranquil Seasons are highly trained, skilled professionals, with an ethics board and international certifying association behind them, which "newborn nannies" and "baby nurses" don't have.

We use an International Board Certification Body for all of our postpartum doula training and certification

Certified Postpartum Doulas assist the new mother and her family in:

     - breastfeeding support,
     - emotional support for mom,
     - Postpartum Depression/Anxiety care and recovery
     - Assistance w/Multiples, Preemies and Special Needs babies
     - newborn care and education,
     - comforting techniques, and teaching how to soothe a crying baby,
     - stimulating your baby's intelligence and learning abilities,
     - circumcision care and bathing,
     - feeding, burping, and holding techniques
     - household maintenance such as dishes, laundry, etc.
     - meal preparation
     - sibling care
     - overnight newborn care so parents can get the rest they need
     - preparing your home for baby & Going GREEN!

In-home support is vital to a new family’s success - whatever form it takes.  We make sure the mother is getting enough rest and eating well so she can produce enough breast milk to feed her newborn(s). If the mother is bottle feeding her baby, the doulas are trained in sterilization and in preparation of formula.

To learn more about this special kind of care for your family,
Please give us a call 210-548-8800
or visit our website:  http://www.tranquilseasons.com 

What is a Labor Doula?

Labor Doulas

A Certified Labor Doula is an assistant or coach, who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, informational and emotional) during pregnancy and in the childbirth process.  She may attend a home birth or might support the mother and her partner during labor at home and continue while in transport and then remain with the mother until settled after the birth at a hospital or a birth center.  Tranquil Seasons only hires Certified Doulas.  We always require doulas, previously certified or not, to go through our training, because the standard of the organization we use for labor doula certification is head and shoulders above any of the others we have seen out there.

During delivery, doulas are in constant, close proximity to the mother at all times. They can provide comfort with pain relief techniques, such as breathing, relaxing, massage and laboring positions. Doulas also encourage participation from the partner and offer reassurance.  A doula acts as an advocate for the mother, encouraging her in her desires for her birth.  Tranquil Seasons are also trained in-depth on maternal fetal positioning.  This is a specialized skill that helps promote the swifter, easier and more comfortable dilation of the cervix and more efficient descent of the baby.

The goal of a doula is to adapt to and support the mother’s philosophy and help her to have a positive and safe birth experience, whether the mother wants an un-medicated birth or is having a planned cesarean birth. 

The doula is the ONLY one outside of family, who is hired by and there specifically for the mother, and has no conflicts of interest such as employment by the physician/midwife/hospital or any other reason for bias.

After the birth, Tranquil Seasons Doulas will spend as much time as needed helping mothers begin the breastfeeding process and encouraging bonding between the new baby and family members.  Our jobs are not done just because the baby has arrived!  :)

Hiring a Certified Labor Doula will decrease your chances of cesarean. Tranquil Seasons owner Anne Croudace, has cared for over 270 families.  Out of all the births she has attended, only 3 ended in an unplanned (though very necessary) cesareans. That's a pretty encouraging statistic. While she cannot make you any guarantees, you have more than a good chance of avoiding a surgical birth when you've got Anne or one of the doulas she has trained, by your side.

Call for more info:
210-548-8800
or visit our website:
http://www.tranquilseasons.com

How to Choose the Best Doula

How Can You Choose the Best Doula?

This can be a stressful, and exciting part of your lives.  Don’t allow yourself to feel rushed or pressured to make a decision about your care, by your OB/Midwife, by friends, family, or the caregivers you interview.  Take time to ask questions, do your research and get to know the doula you will hire to help you birth and care for your newborn(s).

“Postpartum Doulas are higher skilled professionals, and more specifically trained than baby nurses or newborn nannies and every mother deserves one!” 

Your health insurance will not pay for a baby nurse or nanny, but they will help pay for a certified postpartum doula.  How do you find one your insurance company trusts?

What do parents need to know when it comes to hiring a Doula?

1.       What makes a good doula?

a.       She’s certified by a reputable organization.  She should also be trained in breastfeeding support as well as has the right philosophy to match your family.  So ask her what her views on things like “breastfeeding”, “vaccinations”, “cry it out” and “sleep training” are, among other hot topics.  A good doula will not have an agenda to push, but will be willing and able to support all parenting styles.  She will have a lot of experience, honest credentials as a doula, and she’ll be an active part of the local birth community.

b.      When you first interview potential doulas, it should be abundantly clear who has the most knowledge and experience  and who will be able to support your parenting style best.  Ask a lot of questions.  Don’t be afraid to take plenty of time getting to know her.  This is an important decision and even if you’re hiring her after the baby is born, you should not rush the process. 

c.       Finally, a good Doula will know how to navigate the insurance world for you.  She’ll work with you to get reimbursed as much as you possibly can for her services, from your insurance providers.  If she’s not able to bill insurance, look for another Doula.  Insurance billing knowledge and experience is another indicator of professionalism, credibility and overall superior care. 

A professional doula has a proven track record of insurance cooperation and reimbursement.  Ask all potential doulas if they will provide you with the forms and codes for insurance claims.  If they cannot, you need to keep looking.  Claims reimbursable doulas have proven to the insurance companies that their care is worth paying for.  You will be asked to pay up front, but part of your intake process with a professional doula should include a discussion about insurance, and they will ask for the details on, or a copy of your card for billing purposes.

 

2.       What are the MUSTS when interviewing a doula?

a.       Run a background check, or hire a doula through an agency that will provide one to you as part of their services, and it should be free of cost.

b.      Make sure she’s certified.  Contact the organization she’s earned her credentials with and verify her status is current and in good standing.  Many doulas claim to be “trained” but they never completed the work to be certified.  “Trained” and “Certified” are very different things when you consider the integrity of the doula and her practice.

c.       She should have current, honest credentials as a certified doula and she should also be certified in Adult and Infant CPR as well as First Aid.  Ask to see those certifications as well as any others she holds.

d.      Find out who she is accountable to.  Don’t be afraid to ask her, “If I have a grievance over your services, who would I contact about that?”  Independent doulas can be wonderful, but there are doulas out there who answer to no one and this can be a real problem for families who encounter issues later.

e.      Contact all her references and ask the tough questions like was she ever late, how did she invoice you, did you trust her, did she always follow through with things, where there ever any red flags while she was caring for you or your baby?

f.        Ask to see a list of care duties and also the contract, BEFORE the interview.  You should never feel pressured to sign the contract until you’ve had time to read it over and discuss with your partner.

REMEMBER, getting a word of mouth referral is great, but it’s not a failsafe way to hire a doula.  Make sure she is trustworthy by doing the above things before you bring her into your home to care for your family.

Written by: Anne Croudace, CPD, CPDT, CLD, CLDT, CBE, CLSE, CNPE, CPR

How to reach Anne Croudace:

Tranquil Seasons Doulas in San Antonio, TX

www.TranquilSeasons.com   or 210-548-8800

 

Anne is also the founder of the ethics-based “San Antonio Birth Collective”, which seeks to serve parents through education and practical support.  Take a look:  www.sabirthcollective.com

What to Buy/Register for Baby!

Tranquil Seasons BabyRegistry Recommendations

(if it's not on this list, you probably don't need it)

Newborn Necessities:

v  Layette  - Fave Brands:  Carters, Sage Creek Organics, Under the Nile and Kicky Pants

Ø  Onsies - #5

Ø  Footies (coveralls with feet) - #5

Ø  Sleep Gowns (elastic bottoms) - #5

Ø  Receiving/Swaddling Blankets (fave brand: Aiden and Anais) - #8

v  Diapering - Fave Brands: Honest Co. and Pampers Swaddlers

Ø  Diapers, newborn-size and size 1

Ø  Wipes (fave brands: California Baby, Mustela or just get regular and rinse the brick)

Ø  Cloth Diapers - (fave brands: G-Diapers, Kissaluvs)

Ø  Diaper Rash Cream - Burts Bees wins hands down

v  Feeding

Ø  Lansinoh Nipple Cream, or Earth Mother Angel Baby brand nipple cream

Ø  My Brest Friend Breastfeeding Pillow (yes, this is important!!, if you plan to bfeed)

Ø  Burp Cloths (anything absorbent and soft against baby’s face will do) #8

Ø  Medela Pump in Style breast pump, if you’re going to be breast/bottle feeding

Ø  Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags

Ø  Dr. Browns or Tommy Tippee bottles, if you plan to bottle feed at all

Ø  Soft, sleep bras (at least 3 of these in the beginning, 1 size bigger) + Breast pads

v  Furniture

Ø  Changing pad

Ø  Rock-n-Play Sleeper - we call it the “Taco Rocker”

Ø  Co-Sleeper (fave brand: Arm’s Reach Mini)

Ø  Co-sleeper sheets

Ø  Stroller/Car Seat Travel System (fave brand: Britax)

v  Other Misc.

Ø  Nail file (you can use the fine gauge side of your own emery boards)

Ø  Thermometer (fave brand: Thermoscan)

Ø  Baby Carrier (fave type:  Pouch-Style - check out “Go, Baby, Go” to try them on)

Ø  Baby Bath Wash & Lotion/Massage Oil (fave brand: California Baby or Weleda)

Ø  Target Brand or Purex Baby Laundry Detergent (fave: same as but less expensive than Dreft)

 

Newborn Nice-to-Haves:

v  Layette  - Fave Brands:  buying from WAHMs is a great way to support your community

Ø  Carseat cover (in winter)

Ø  Additional blankets are nice, chenille or fleece layered blankets are especially warm

v  Diapering -

Ø  Wipes Warmer (fave brand: Lionheart)

Ø  Changing Station, either on top of dresser or pack-n-play

v  Feeding

Ø  Breast shells (fave brand: Avent)

Ø  Pumping bra for hands-free pumping (fave brand: medela)

Ø  Mother’s Milk Tea by Traditional Medicinals or Nursing Mother Tea by Yogi

v  Furniture

Ø  Rocking Chair with foot stool/ottoman for mom

Ø  Nursery crib and dresser set

Ø  Baby Swing (fave brand: Mamaroo)

Ø  Bumbo Seat (this is for baby once he/she is 3-4 months, but awesome nonetheless)

Ø  Pram-style stroller / jogger (depending on your lifestyle)

v  Other Misc.

Ø  Bath Time (fave brands: Under the Sea Sponge and Spa Baby Eco)

Ø  Pacifier (if you use them, get several Wubbanubs, they are so great!)

Ø  Skin Care (Calendula Cream by California Baby solves most skin irritations)

Ø  Pelvic Support for Mom (you want a thicker band like: Medela Postpartum Support)

 

Did we forget something?  Have a question about a product?  Just ask!

Call 210-548-8800

email Anne at annecwj(at)gmail.com
or visit us on the web:  http://www.tranquilseasons.com

-------------------------------------------

 

Who is Anne Doula - Part 2

Part 2:
Finally, Anne Doula is a woman who is on a mission to challenge the ideas about what doulas are... When you walk down the street and see a pregnant woman, do you automatically offer her a drink of water? How about when you're in a store and you hear a newborn crying and the mother looks haggard. Do you have to refrain yourself from going over, picking up the baby and saying, here, I'll help you get through the last items on your list....?

A doula is a servant. We wake up thinking about how to take care of people and we go to bed exhausted every night, with a smile on our face knowing we gave every last drop of ourselves to those around us. We are love in action. We nurture. We help, we feed, we carry, we DO love.

If you're thinking about becoming a doula, consider an organization that we feel is the very top notch education and certification program: MaternityWise International http://www.maternitywise.com
They have a standardized curriculum, so your training will be as comprehensive as everyone else's. it's a stepping stone / midwifery prep program. The pricing is reasonable and the staff is flexible and friendly. The organization is owned by it's members and therefore you will not have anyone micromanaging your personal doula company, telling you what you can and can't say and do. They also teach how to start and build your birth business. From real life, successful doulas. There just simply isn't an organization like this out there.

Are you feeling led to become a doula? My aunt once told me that it was my "calling" to assist pregnant and birthing women. I wondered what that meant. Now I'm living it.

I have this cute little book that my kindegarten teacher Mrs. Baumgartner made waaaaay back when... It was a self-portrait on each page of all her students, and on a page in the back, she listed all our names and what we wanted to be when we grew up. Many children put president, or firefighter, or doctor or astronaut. After my name was 3!! ha ha She listed that I wanted to be a "Mommy, a teacher and a nurse."

As a doula, in a sense, I am kind of playing all 3 roles. Doulas mother the mother, and teach her how to love her baby and care for herself. She also has a knowledge of medical, anatomical and physiological processes involving the pregnant, birthing and postpartum mother as well as fetal and newborn internal mechanics.

It's so important, for the families we serve, to get a well-rounded education and complete a credentialing process from an internationally certifying body. You can help set the standard. You can be one of those special women who assit mothers to get the care they need, even when they cannot afford it. You can be the change in the birthing world. One of the ways you can do that, is to be pro-active in education.

We need more top-level skilled doulas in the world, to keep making a difference!!! So what's stopping you from getting certified? Start your program today! You are worth it, and the families you will serve in the future will be so grateful you took this step.

-Anne

Who is Anne Doula? (Part 1)

Client:  "Hey Grandma, come meet Anne.  She's my doula!"

Client's Grandmother:  "Hello Anne Doula.  That is a curious last name.  Is it French?"

hahahahaha
and so I became Anne Doula.

Doula is actually a Greek word.  It's used in the Bible when describing Jesus, as He washed his disciples' feet.  He took on the form of a "Doulos" or male servant.

Doula generally referred to the woman servant, who helped the mother of the household with pregnancy, birth and childrearing in the early years.  She was a hand-maiden, a personal assistant, a second mama, a close friend, confidant, and often she was also a wet-nurse.

These days, there are women who call themselves doulas, yet have no training, or even any idea that doula = servant.  They hear the term, want to attend births cause it sounds exciting, and then off they go, calling themselves a doula...  hmmmmm.....  not cool.

Why is it not cool?  Well, for several very good, very important reasons: 

1. Mothers hear about doulas in the media, or from books about pregnancy, and they kind of have an expectation of what sort of value and skill-set a doula will bring to their experience.  If all doulas are on different levels as far as education and philosophy, how can mothers know who to choose, what is a reasonable amount to pay, what to expect, etc.?
2. Birth isn't always easy, fast, or safe.  Don't get me wrong, I birthed my last 2 of 5 babies at home, and one arrived before the midwife, so I'm probably what you'd call a "Birth-Truster" and I believe that birth is normally safe, and that interference and intervention is normally risky.  However, we do know how bad information can lead to bad choices which can lead to bad outcomes.  This is a HUGE reason why doulas - who give advice and help mothers to educate themselves - need to know their role, when to refer moms to a specific professional, and what is a silly trend and what is serious medicine.  Untrained, uncertified women who call themselves doulas are not qualified, and often do not know or understand the bounds of what their role entails as a complementary care provider.  Because of this, you often find they lack the information parents really need, and sadly, they also lack the ethical standards as well.
3. Unfortunately, women who feel they don't need training, or are above attaining a certification, are many times, the same women who have their own birth trauma or other serious personal issues to deal with.  I was just speaking to a dad yesterday, who said he had interviewed half a dozen doulas in our city, and each one revealed through their philosophy, personal stories, or unsolicited advice their own resentment toward a doctor or nurse during their own experiences.
4. Women who claim to be "trained" but cannot provide you with their credentials are basically women who are shortcutting the system.  They took a workshop, but they didn't have the integrity to complete the rest of their training.  In my opinion, they should not be calling themselves "trained" simply because they did not complete the entire "training process".  Parents are getting savvy to this however, and more and more families are turning down doulas who don't have those coveted letters after their name or a certification award to prove they completed a course to become a true doula.
5. When a woman cannot afford doula care, there are a few states where it is mandated for insurance companies to reimburse a portion of their care expenses.  Why would insurance companies want to reimburse for care that has no value to them?  Saving them money is how doulas look good to the insurance company.  How would having a doula save them money?  By lowering the cesarean risk, for starters.  So it's important that certified doulas continue to seek out insurance reimbursement.  That, and the fact that mothers who want doula care, but cannot afford it will be more likely to receive that care including better outcomes for themselves and their babies, if insurance companies were on board with paying a portion of that expense.  Some states like Minnesota and Pennsylvania already do.
6. The last and perhaps most upsetting reason (to me) of why it's not cool that women take on the title "Doula" without completing a certification process is that is blows the stats of good doulas out of whack.  For example, the Cochrane report from the 1990's showed that having a doula by your side reduced the rate of cesarean by almost half.  In the late 2000's, after being a doula became trendy, that rate in another Cochrane review showed that the stat was now hovering around 25%  Why?  Because women who are not properly trained are out there practicing and mothers are not getting the benefit of having a skilled woman by their side.  Those numbers, by the way, tell me that having an uncertified doula means your rates of cesarean is no different that those of the general public without a doula.

Part 2 coming soon............

Becoming a Doula-Minded Birth Advocate

Many years ago, I was holding hands of friends in labor, and walking the halls with newborns so mothers could sleep.  I was changing diapers of babies with RSV and cuddling moms who cried over their birth stories. 

I gave birth to my first baby at age 17.  I didn't know anything.  I never had any idea that someone might think I wouldn't succeed at delivering vaginally.  I didn't know the cesarean statistic or that women still gave birth at home.  No one ever bothered to tell me that my breasts would fill with milk, whether or not I chose to breastfeed.  I didn't wonder how I would ever push a baby out or if I could manage the discomforts of labor.  Nor did I think about whether I wanted drugs or not for pain.  I honestly did not have a clue they were even an option.  I just figured you had a baby and that was that.  There was so much I was ignorant of.

There was so much I didn't know, that I had no time or inclination or reason to question the natural processes my body went through.  I didn't question my weight gain.  Never thought about how much amniotic fluid I had or if I might catch the flu.  I went on my way, carrying my baby and eating, eating, eating, dancing and walking and enjoying every kick and flutter.  Can you imagine a pregnancy like that nowadays?  That was only 1992/1993.  Not really that long ago.  Over the last 20 years, what has happened in our society, in our medical care system, in our circles of friends and family that has turned the perception of birth into such a frantic, frightening, and frustrating scenario?

Ask yourself these questions: 

• When I've heard about birth, what was a main theme in each story? 
• Did I feel fear upon hearing the story? 
• What has shaped my ideas about birth?  Mother? Aunts? Sisters? the Media?
• When I've spoke of birth, what has been the tone and intention of my story? 
• Have I told a Hollywood version of my experience, looking for the oohs and awws or have I told the boring details right along side the exciting ones? 
• Have I been truly, completely honest when talking about my birth with people?

Consider your answers and consider also what part you've played in influencing the women and girls around you and their perception of birth.  Perhaps you've built healthy ideals, or perhaps you are now recognizing that you can do better.

I'm interested to hear how you might make some changes in your own birth-speak, or how you feel we can better affirm our societies' positive ideas on birth.

-Anne

Questions New and Expecting Parents Ask

Questions New and Expecting Parents Ask...

- How can I avoid a cesarean?

- How can I avoid tearing?

- What are the drawbacks when using pain medication in labor?

- What is the best way to labor without drugs?

- What is water birth?

- What are the fears of other American women in birth?

- How can I prevent SIDS?

- Will I be able to breastfeed?

We will cover these topics and more, over the course of this blog.

If you have questions you would like to see asked, please contact me

and I'll be happy to include them.

For now, take deep breaths and remember - the world has been peopled.  :o)  You aren't the first to face childbirth and parenting newborns, and you certainly won't be the last. 
If you are reading this, it's safe to say you're living in a situation where information is at your fingertips.

Warmly,

Anne Croudace