Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations - Part 2 Setting a Solid Foundation

Continuing on the thread of messing with moms' minds as part of the profit-driven practitioner...

Have you ever been told at your 37/38/39 week prenatal, during a vaginal exam, that you're ___cm and ___% effaced and "baby is really low"?

Was it followed with, "I doubt you'll make it through the weekend"...?

It seems like that was the previous trend (before the unfavorable cervix shenanigans began) that OBs and even midwives were using to build an expectation in mothers' and partners' minds.  Again, education is the key to overcoming this silly gullibility before birth and the depression due to regret that comes afterward.

Put yourself in the profit-driven practitioner's shoes.
What happens is this: As a profit-driven practitioner, you tell a woman what you're "expecting" and since you're the professional, so she expects it too.  Mother tells all her friends and family members that she's bound to go into labor before the weekend.  She builds it up in her mind.  She finishes the nesting, packs her bags, over-analyzes her cravings, her sleep, her poop, her aches, pains and everything her body does.  Poor thing gets all excited.  Day after day she wakes up, and expects that today will be the day.  Then it doesn't happen - because she and her baby are not ready, but your prediction has effectively poisoned the waters.

Imagine how she feels...  A strange combination of disability, failure, impotence, embarrassment, even shame.  She wonders what is wrong with her (but doesn't question what was wrong with the prediction, because her heart is tender and vulnerably focused inward, as it should be).  Another week passes and her anxiety increases.

Her family and friends are sharing this unrealistic expectation and start pressuring: "What's wrong?"  "Haven't you had that baby yet?"  "This happened to _____ and she had to have a cesarean because her body just wouldn't go into labor."

Half of the work of a profit-driven practitioner is done for him/her already!  
Guess who is now primed and ready to sign up for that induction...
and worse, the scheduled cesarean, which is allowable after 37 weeks for very little reason - if any.  All that needs to be done now, is to give it an official diagnosis:  Failure to progress, Unfavorable cervix, Low amniotic fluid, YOU NAME IT, we can put a labor on it.  :)

Remember how I mentioned the depression due to regret earlier?  These are the moms whose babies end up in the NICU, whose deeply desired breastfeeding is ruined, whose baby struggles in their first weeks and months to thrive and grow, because they are so sleepy, jaundice, allergic to formula.

I just want moms to stop signing up for the snowball effect with their eyes closed.  I want them to be educated about the process of birth.  I want them to know how their bodies REALLY work and that they were built for this process.  I want them to understand that their mind is where the battle really is - not their bodies.  And if they can trust themselves to give birth the way they trust themselves to do anything else, they will give birth when their baby says they are ready, and they will have a healthy, alert, good eater and good sleeper in their arms upon delivery.

The USA has a profit driven health care system.  If you want to make lots of money, this would be a great industry to get into.  That is, until individuals begin to take responsibility for their own health and begin to question what is being recommended to them.  At some point, the insurance industry is going to fall apart because the public cannot afford to pay and the industry itself cannot sustain the abuse it's been funding for decades.

Most of all, I think we as women need to get back to the way we've cared for the health of our families for millennia - and that is to educate ourselves but follow our intuition.  Why have we replaced intuition and good sense with beeps and pills?

Your children depend on your good sense and intuition for all other areas of their lives and well-being.  Don't let them down on the day they arrive earth-side.

To learn more, to be mentored, or to take online interactive childbirth classes, please give me a call and I will be happy to direct you to some fantastic resources.

May this new year be the year you start asking questions and taking charge of your own health and the health of your family.  You deserve to have respectful, honest caregivers and so do your children.

Warmly,
Anne Croudace
952-457-6506
http://www.maternitywise.com

What is a Labor Doula?

Labor Doulas

A Certified Labor Doula is an assistant or coach, who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, informational and emotional) during pregnancy and in the childbirth process.  She may attend a home birth or might support the mother and her partner during labor at home and continue while in transport and then remain with the mother until settled after the birth at a hospital or a birth center.  Tranquil Seasons only hires Certified Doulas.  We always require doulas, previously certified or not, to go through our training, because the standard of the organization we use for labor doula certification is head and shoulders above any of the others we have seen out there.

During delivery, doulas are in constant, close proximity to the mother at all times. They can provide comfort with pain relief techniques, such as breathing, relaxing, massage and laboring positions. Doulas also encourage participation from the partner and offer reassurance.  A doula acts as an advocate for the mother, encouraging her in her desires for her birth.  Tranquil Seasons are also trained in-depth on maternal fetal positioning.  This is a specialized skill that helps promote the swifter, easier and more comfortable dilation of the cervix and more efficient descent of the baby.

The goal of a doula is to adapt to and support the mother’s philosophy and help her to have a positive and safe birth experience, whether the mother wants an un-medicated birth or is having a planned cesarean birth. 

The doula is the ONLY one outside of family, who is hired by and there specifically for the mother, and has no conflicts of interest such as employment by the physician/midwife/hospital or any other reason for bias.

After the birth, Tranquil Seasons Doulas will spend as much time as needed helping mothers begin the breastfeeding process and encouraging bonding between the new baby and family members.  Our jobs are not done just because the baby has arrived!  :)

Hiring a Certified Labor Doula will decrease your chances of cesarean. Tranquil Seasons owner Anne Croudace, has cared for over 270 families.  Out of all the births she has attended, only 3 ended in an unplanned (though very necessary) cesareans. That's a pretty encouraging statistic. While she cannot make you any guarantees, you have more than a good chance of avoiding a surgical birth when you've got Anne or one of the doulas she has trained, by your side.

Call for more info:
210-548-8800
or visit our website:
http://www.tranquilseasons.com

Sample Birth Plan

Look into your options...
Here is a sample, offered by one of our clients to give other moms a good starting point.

Feel free to use wording from it, or even copy and paste.  If you have questions about any of the preferences listed, please let me know and I will be glad to explain the family's intent as well as further resources regarding each item.

Remember, your birth plan should be 1 page long and include a categorized list of your wishes and preferences in each stage of your childbirth experience.

 

Birth Plan

Labor:

·         I would like my husband, Jason, and doula, Anne, to stay with me at all times.

·         I request that pain medication NOT be offered to me; if I decide to use pain medications, I will request them.

·         In the event of labor augmentation, I would like to try alternate methods prior to use of Pitocin.

·         I prefer no IV fluids unless I am dehydrated such that juices, electrolyte water, and other drinks do not properly hydrate me.

Pushing:

·         I request the freedom to choose various pushing and delivery positions; to include squatting, hands & knees, or whatever may feel right at the time.

·         I ask that no episiotomy be performed; I would like warm compresses and perineal massage prior to delivery.

·         When it is time to push, I’d like to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits as long as my baby and I are doing fine.

 

Immediately Postpartum:

·         I request that the umbilical cord not be clamped, or even touched until it is white and limp. I request to be allowed to naturally deliver the placenta; I request to have the placenta stored safely and unaltered so that we may take the placenta home for encapsulation.

·         I request that the immediate care of my baby be done on my abdomen or chest with skin-to-skin contact for as long as possible.

·         I plan to exclusively breastfeed and request that no supplements or pacifiers be given. If my baby needs to be fed by bottle or other means, I would like to pump my breasts and provide breast milk throughout the hospital stay.

Newborn:

·         I ask that all newborn care be done in my room.

·         If my baby requires special nursery care, I request access to him at any time.

Special Circumstances:

·         If the above ideals must be altered for medical necessity, I ask that we be given as much time as safely possible to consider all our options before procedures are done.

·         In the event of a cesarean delivery, I would like my partner and doula with me.

·         If cesarean is necessary, I would like contact with my baby as soon as possible and during recovery.

·         In the event of a stillbirth or death of my baby, I would like contact with him as long as desired afterwards.

How to Choose the Best Doula

How Can You Choose the Best Doula?

This can be a stressful, and exciting part of your lives.  Don’t allow yourself to feel rushed or pressured to make a decision about your care, by your OB/Midwife, by friends, family, or the caregivers you interview.  Take time to ask questions, do your research and get to know the doula you will hire to help you birth and care for your newborn(s).

“Postpartum Doulas are higher skilled professionals, and more specifically trained than baby nurses or newborn nannies and every mother deserves one!” 

Your health insurance will not pay for a baby nurse or nanny, but they will help pay for a certified postpartum doula.  How do you find one your insurance company trusts?

What do parents need to know when it comes to hiring a Doula?

1.       What makes a good doula?

a.       She’s certified by a reputable organization.  She should also be trained in breastfeeding support as well as has the right philosophy to match your family.  So ask her what her views on things like “breastfeeding”, “vaccinations”, “cry it out” and “sleep training” are, among other hot topics.  A good doula will not have an agenda to push, but will be willing and able to support all parenting styles.  She will have a lot of experience, honest credentials as a doula, and she’ll be an active part of the local birth community.

b.      When you first interview potential doulas, it should be abundantly clear who has the most knowledge and experience  and who will be able to support your parenting style best.  Ask a lot of questions.  Don’t be afraid to take plenty of time getting to know her.  This is an important decision and even if you’re hiring her after the baby is born, you should not rush the process. 

c.       Finally, a good Doula will know how to navigate the insurance world for you.  She’ll work with you to get reimbursed as much as you possibly can for her services, from your insurance providers.  If she’s not able to bill insurance, look for another Doula.  Insurance billing knowledge and experience is another indicator of professionalism, credibility and overall superior care. 

A professional doula has a proven track record of insurance cooperation and reimbursement.  Ask all potential doulas if they will provide you with the forms and codes for insurance claims.  If they cannot, you need to keep looking.  Claims reimbursable doulas have proven to the insurance companies that their care is worth paying for.  You will be asked to pay up front, but part of your intake process with a professional doula should include a discussion about insurance, and they will ask for the details on, or a copy of your card for billing purposes.

 

2.       What are the MUSTS when interviewing a doula?

a.       Run a background check, or hire a doula through an agency that will provide one to you as part of their services, and it should be free of cost.

b.      Make sure she’s certified.  Contact the organization she’s earned her credentials with and verify her status is current and in good standing.  Many doulas claim to be “trained” but they never completed the work to be certified.  “Trained” and “Certified” are very different things when you consider the integrity of the doula and her practice.

c.       She should have current, honest credentials as a certified doula and she should also be certified in Adult and Infant CPR as well as First Aid.  Ask to see those certifications as well as any others she holds.

d.      Find out who she is accountable to.  Don’t be afraid to ask her, “If I have a grievance over your services, who would I contact about that?”  Independent doulas can be wonderful, but there are doulas out there who answer to no one and this can be a real problem for families who encounter issues later.

e.      Contact all her references and ask the tough questions like was she ever late, how did she invoice you, did you trust her, did she always follow through with things, where there ever any red flags while she was caring for you or your baby?

f.        Ask to see a list of care duties and also the contract, BEFORE the interview.  You should never feel pressured to sign the contract until you’ve had time to read it over and discuss with your partner.

REMEMBER, getting a word of mouth referral is great, but it’s not a failsafe way to hire a doula.  Make sure she is trustworthy by doing the above things before you bring her into your home to care for your family.

Written by: Anne Croudace, CPD, CPDT, CLD, CLDT, CBE, CLSE, CNPE, CPR

How to reach Anne Croudace:

Tranquil Seasons Doulas in San Antonio, TX

www.TranquilSeasons.com   or 210-548-8800

 

Anne is also the founder of the ethics-based “San Antonio Birth Collective”, which seeks to serve parents through education and practical support.  Take a look:  www.sabirthcollective.com

Simple Summary of Our Care

So, you've probably read a lot about doulas by now...
Not all doulas are the same.  Tranquil Seasons Doulas have specific, ongoing training in several modalities.

What is a good, simple summary of our care?

During Childbirth…

During labor and delivery, we support you at all times with emotional, informational and physical care.  We provide you with education and resources before and during your childbirth experience to help you stay comfortable and to relieve anxiety.  We provide non-pharmacological pain relief including massage, and maternal/fetal positioning to help keep you relaxed and to allow the baby to descend quickly, easily, safely.  We never take the place of your partner.  In fact we encourage participation and offer reassurance and guidance so that this experience is positive for both parents!

After Childbirth…

After birth, Postpartum Doulas help with breastfeeding, infant care, and understanding newborn feeding and sleep habits.  The calm, loving, gentle presence of a doula alleviates stress and helps mothers recover from birth

 in a positive, healthy way.  This assists in preventing or recovering from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety as well as Post-Traumatic Stress - which some mothers and babies experience after a difficult birth.

To speak with Doulas in San Antonio:
www.TranquilSeasons.com
210-548-8800