I can't afford a doula... :(

"I want a doula but I can't afford it."

You may have thought that yourself.

Or you may be a doula who has heard that from women who really want to hire you, but they don't believe their budget allows for it.

This issue isn't about dollars.

This is about perceived value.

Is it common in your community for women to hire a doula for labor, birth or postpartum?

Ask yourself these questions:
  - How many women in my community find a Doula as a helpful part of their birth team?
  - Are postpartum Doulas used? Do women know they exist or what they do?
  - How do women find a Doula in our community? 

Doulas are not just for women who want a natural childbirth. Doulas are for women who want continuous emotional and physical support for their birth and also during the postpartum transition to parenthood.

There is a Doula for every mother out there!

Doulas are a vital tool to moms no matter where or how they give birth. Imagine emotional support from a Doula who has gotten to know you throughout your pregnancy. She is there to encourage you as things go just the way you want or keep you calm and help you to understand all your options as things change and you have to make decisions. 

She is a woman who has most likely given birth before and because of that she can empathize with you as you bring your own baby into this world. The physical support, comfort measures and pain relief in labor comes in many different ways, it can be at home during the early stages of labor, helping you and your partner work through each contraction, helping you into the tub, birth ball, shower, applying counter pressure as you need, massaging your back, neck, jaw or arms, helping move you into optimal positions to help "spin" your baby if they are in a bad position causing painful back labor, being there to support you when it is time to push, helping you and your partner understand the stages of labor that you are going through and offering assurance for this special event.

Perhaps you need a quiet presence to support you, perhaps you need a loud coach. A Doula can be all of these things, that is what a Doula does. She supports you exactly how you need to be supported to give birth how you want.

And afterward, she will support your personal style of parenting. She will gently teach you how to care for your newborn and support your intuition and instincts when it comes to feedings, learning sleep solutions and dealing with gas, colic or other bumps along the way.

Doulas come from a variety of backgrounds and doula training programs.  Some are in-person workshops that last several days, some are online doula training programs.

So the question:  

How much do you value a doula's support?

If you know what a doula does and you recognize your need for her care, most women will find a way to get the money to pay for it.  

Here are a few suggestions so that you can get the support you desire during labor, birth and postpartum:

1. Fundraise.

     Ask friends and family members to donate to your "doula fund"

2. Sell stuff.

     Surely you have things around the house that you could put on eBay or Craig's List?

3. Shower Gift Suggestion.

     Many clients I've had in the past had an additional "joint" shower gift from all attendees.

4. Talk to your insurance company.

     This requires a bit of tenacity, to demand it be covered.

     You'll also need to hire a doula who can help you with insurance claims.

5. Look into Flex Spend Accounts / Health Spend Accounts.

     These will often cover a doula's services 100%.  You just need to ask your HR dept.

If you want a doula, you deserve to have one.  It may take some creativity on your part, but it's possible.  If you're a doula (or a parent) and you want to know more about insurance reimbursement for doula services, MaternityWise has a training JUST for you.  

Call me to find out more. 952-457-6506

Inspired to find a way for all things,

Nothing is impossible!

Blessings,

Anne

annecwj@gmail.com 

Giving Birth Again

You gave birth.  It didn't go the way you expected, the way you planned, the way you wanted...

Now you find yourself pregnant again and you're a little scared.  Maybe you're really, really scared.
What can you do to make sure that things go better this time?
Did you stuff the trauma you experienced deep down, not realizing it would surface (ever)?
Now you've got a toddler, and your pregnant and there's a lot of emotional work you need to do, but really don't have time or energy for it.  You're not that mom.  You want better and you will find a way.
 Why? 
Because your birth experience isn't just for you - it's your baby's only birthday.

One of my kids told me (you may have heard it somewhere too) that if you repeat the same thing over and over, you will get the same result over and over.

The same goes for birth:
If you were uneducated last time, get educated.
If you were out of shape last time, get in shape.
If you ate a lot of junk last time, get healthier food.
If you were hurt emotionally, physically, mentally last time, get healed.

So you get the idea.  You agree.  
Where do you start?

1. You must swear off the drama.  Don't fall into the drama-trap.  Birth is not a crisis.  You are not sick.  When you look at this process truthfully, you will find that there is no reason for fear and drama, and that will only make you vulnerable to deception.
2. Next, I would sit down with a cup of raspberry leaf tea and a lovely book that will encourage you while educating you: "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin (a birthy, hippy hero of mine)  In this book you will find healthy, happy, normal birth stories.  Read it!
3. Get shopping for a doula.  Find one who has excellent training, current certification credentials, and lots of experience.  Don't settle for the lowest price.  This is your baby's birth.  If you want care that will change your experience for the better, don't be a cheapskate.
4. Start eating right and exercising immediately.  Drinking lots of fluids and eating loads of protein every day is of utmost importance.  Those are your top priority.  Your prenatal vitamin cannot make up for a poor diet.

If you have issues still rising in your mind about your previous birth(s), please talk to someone about it.  Residual anxiety can have a heavy impact on how your next labor will go.  One way to work through those feelings is to use your 5 senses.  Explore each sense and ask yourself questions about it.  Often when we experience trauma we don't always store it with words.  Sometimes we store memories of them in the form of sensations.  Those sensations need to be tapped into and cleared away - you don't want them to pop up and surprise you when you're in labor!

If you're in the San Antonio area, consider taking a class to help you prepare.  Tranquil Seasons offers classes monthly on a variety of topics.  Check out the list and see if any draw you.
You can find the list on the website: Doulas and Childbirth Education in San Antonio

If you're not in San Antonio, I can get you into our private, online birth mentoring program.
Just ask me!
210-548-8800

Blessings,
Anne Croudace

Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations - Part 2 Setting a Solid Foundation

Continuing on the thread of messing with moms' minds as part of the profit-driven practitioner...

Have you ever been told at your 37/38/39 week prenatal, during a vaginal exam, that you're ___cm and ___% effaced and "baby is really low"?

Was it followed with, "I doubt you'll make it through the weekend"...?

It seems like that was the previous trend (before the unfavorable cervix shenanigans began) that OBs and even midwives were using to build an expectation in mothers' and partners' minds.  Again, education is the key to overcoming this silly gullibility before birth and the depression due to regret that comes afterward.

Put yourself in the profit-driven practitioner's shoes.
What happens is this: As a profit-driven practitioner, you tell a woman what you're "expecting" and since you're the professional, so she expects it too.  Mother tells all her friends and family members that she's bound to go into labor before the weekend.  She builds it up in her mind.  She finishes the nesting, packs her bags, over-analyzes her cravings, her sleep, her poop, her aches, pains and everything her body does.  Poor thing gets all excited.  Day after day she wakes up, and expects that today will be the day.  Then it doesn't happen - because she and her baby are not ready, but your prediction has effectively poisoned the waters.

Imagine how she feels...  A strange combination of disability, failure, impotence, embarrassment, even shame.  She wonders what is wrong with her (but doesn't question what was wrong with the prediction, because her heart is tender and vulnerably focused inward, as it should be).  Another week passes and her anxiety increases.

Her family and friends are sharing this unrealistic expectation and start pressuring: "What's wrong?"  "Haven't you had that baby yet?"  "This happened to _____ and she had to have a cesarean because her body just wouldn't go into labor."

Half of the work of a profit-driven practitioner is done for him/her already!  
Guess who is now primed and ready to sign up for that induction...
and worse, the scheduled cesarean, which is allowable after 37 weeks for very little reason - if any.  All that needs to be done now, is to give it an official diagnosis:  Failure to progress, Unfavorable cervix, Low amniotic fluid, YOU NAME IT, we can put a labor on it.  :)

Remember how I mentioned the depression due to regret earlier?  These are the moms whose babies end up in the NICU, whose deeply desired breastfeeding is ruined, whose baby struggles in their first weeks and months to thrive and grow, because they are so sleepy, jaundice, allergic to formula.

I just want moms to stop signing up for the snowball effect with their eyes closed.  I want them to be educated about the process of birth.  I want them to know how their bodies REALLY work and that they were built for this process.  I want them to understand that their mind is where the battle really is - not their bodies.  And if they can trust themselves to give birth the way they trust themselves to do anything else, they will give birth when their baby says they are ready, and they will have a healthy, alert, good eater and good sleeper in their arms upon delivery.

The USA has a profit driven health care system.  If you want to make lots of money, this would be a great industry to get into.  That is, until individuals begin to take responsibility for their own health and begin to question what is being recommended to them.  At some point, the insurance industry is going to fall apart because the public cannot afford to pay and the industry itself cannot sustain the abuse it's been funding for decades.

Most of all, I think we as women need to get back to the way we've cared for the health of our families for millennia - and that is to educate ourselves but follow our intuition.  Why have we replaced intuition and good sense with beeps and pills?

Your children depend on your good sense and intuition for all other areas of their lives and well-being.  Don't let them down on the day they arrive earth-side.

To learn more, to be mentored, or to take online interactive childbirth classes, please give me a call and I will be happy to direct you to some fantastic resources.

May this new year be the year you start asking questions and taking charge of your own health and the health of your family.  You deserve to have respectful, honest caregivers and so do your children.

Warmly,
Anne Croudace
952-457-6506
http://www.maternitywise.com

Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations - Part 1 The Latest

Education is very important.  The understanding of how labor works, how your cervix and uterus operate and what really exists in the large range of normal...  IS HUGELY IMPORTANT.

If you don't know these things, these basic, simple things, you can easily be lied to.  I can't tell you enough how important it is for women of childbearing age to be educated on pregnancy and childbirth.  Junior High health class is just not good enough!

It's important because there are practitioners out there who are charismatic, and good at manipulating.  They have fantastic bedside manner and very fat wallets.  I hate to even have to say that.  There are lots of great OBs and midwives caring for women with ethical, respectful philosophies.  There are honest caregivers practicing out there who feel equal disgust when hearing about the latest butcher shop tactics.  But just like there are weeds growing in every beautiful garden, so there are evils among the most sacred or professions - maternity caregivers come in all colors.

Speaking with an OBGYN friend of mine a few months ago, he explained that it's not profitable to take medicaid patients, but he does it anyway, because his neighboring OB across the road was taking them and signing 85-90% up for what he is touting as necessary cesareans (no exaggeration).  My friend believes women do better birthing with support and without interference, and wanted women to have a choice, particularly the more vulnerable, and often less educated immigrant Medicaid population that were buying into Dr. Surgery's smooth tactics across the street...

So we started offering free and low-cost childbirth preparation classes to Medicaid and Military patients.  We wanted to be part of the solution.  We wanted to give mothers a real opportunity to make sound decisions and without "hospital indoctrination" as it can be at times.

We assumed of course, the lower income mothers might not know better.  They cannot afford childbirth preparation classes and many of those in our richly diverse city don't speak or read english well.  It seemed logical to expect that kind of scenario happened in "that part of town".  Right?  I thought so too.

Until recently...  I have heard several affluent, (and what I would consider educated) moms tell me that they "had to schedule a cesarean" due to having an "unfavorable cervix" at or near their ESTIMATED due date.  These mothers went on to explain that they were told at 38, 37, and even 36 weeks that their cervix was not favorable, was posterior, and/or was too tightly closed to be able to deliver vaginally.  Yes, long before their due date with baby #1; and they did not know any better than to believe their doctors who told them with sad faces that they were disappointed right along with them that they couldn't deliver the way they wanted (vaginally) and that this sometimes happens to moms and cannot be avoided (extending sympathy, even soliciting empathy for their own position as the doctor).

As a woman, wouldn't you feel horrible if you were told your womanly parts didn't work?  Especially if you deep down believed it weren't true, but you had no way of convincing those you perceive to be "in authority" over your health/experience?  There's a deep, even subconscious humiliation and self-worth destruction that takes root in a woman when her pregnancy or birth dreams are thwarted or her ability is deemed to be invalid in the process.  This is not to mention the subconscious mistrust that is planted into the mind of the partner.  If her body "can't be trusted" to grow a baby safely, or birth a baby safely, how can it nourish a baby or how can she be trusted to care for the baby alone?

An example of the manipulation: One mom was told that she "didn't do anything wrong" (insinuating she should feel that she had) but that with "her type of cervix", even induction would fail.  Preying on her disappointment and feeling of being taken off-guard, Dr. Sneaky Mistruth pretended to be devastated with her, and nearly solicited sympathy for himself, acting as if because of her body's malfunction, he was being forced to perform surgery on her.  Talk about manipulation!

News Flash:
The cervix sometimes does not soften or open until the day labor commences.  Sometimes due to baby's position or other reasons which can change suddenly, the cervix light stay posterior until labor starts.  And reminder: on average, healthy outcomes for mom and baby in first time moms - delivery date was 41.5 weeks - when no induction methods were employed.

41.5 weeks!  
First time moms!  

So, technically, following that average, a 37 week scheduled cesarean would give you a 1 full month premature baby.

What boggles my mind is not the bad advice to moms.  It's not the "your cervix is unfavorable" which would indicate to me that the practitioner is simply lacking accurate knowledge and could/should be enlightened. No, the thing that really stops me in my tracks is the emotional manipulation of the mother, saying things like "I'm disappointed right along with you" and "I wish you could have the birth you want, but" and "this happens to a lot of moms, and it's not your fault"  WOW!  What a mind-job.

Click here for the Part 2 of this series on Sneaky Psychology of Birth Expectations.

Meanwhile, if you're interested in classes, mentoring or just learning more...  visit our agency website: Local San Antonio Doulas

or call me for the latest info

Warm Blessings,
Anne Croudace
952-457-6506

Pregnancy and Birth are Normal Functions of the Female Body

Pregnancy and birth is a normal physiological function of the female body.  In general, the female body is as capable of pregnancy and birth as it is breathing, digesting food or passing urine.  It is logical to assume that interference is not necessary unless and until a problem presents itself, and not unless or until there is evidence that the body’s self-correcting restorative capabilities are not meeting the need of the problem.

It is also very important to remember that the variety and ability of the female body to conceive, carry and birth a baby constitute a large range of “normal”.  For example: Just because one woman labors best in a certain position does not mean that all women labor best in that position.  That “best” position may not suit the same woman in subsequent labors, either.  The ways in which they can “get the job done” is as varied as the women themselves and the babies they carry. 

Everything in a woman’s life changes when she gets pregnant.  Her body’s changes are the most prominent because we can look at her and it's right there.  However, change is also present in the way she sees and thinks about herself and the world around her - as well as the way the world sees and thinks about her.  The mothering instinct is quite strong and predominant in some, while it is more subdued or delayed in others.  

No matter what the mother thought or felt about herself before, she will now envision herself with another person in her life depending on every breath and calorie - unlike any relationship before it.  That transition will manifest in beautiful ways when she is supported properly during pregnancy, labor, birth and the postpartum period.  But hey, you already knew that!   Congratulations!

Have you ever considered becoming a doula?  Are you good at smoothing things over and keeping things calm when others around you are freaking out?  You might be a doula on the inside.  :) 

Our job as normalizing anchors…

We as doulas are meant to be a sounding board for mothers.  They will usually tell us how they are feeling, in detail.  We are so lucky to get a glimpse into the intimate part of a woman’s journey, whether this is her first or 10^th pregnancy.  

It is always our responsibility to have an accepting, nurturing attitude toward the mother.  I call it “putting on love” toward her.  As we do this, we can help to normalize things she is concerned about or may cause alarm in others when truly it’s not a crisis.  She needs someone to be sturdy, and someone she can count on to provide her with reassurance.  

Tell her all you know, while focusing on the positive, and being realistic about the negative – that women have been growing babies and giving birth for eons, and she’s not broken or strange.  One thing I say is to look around, the world has been peopled!  

You’re not the first, and you probably won’t be the last to experience ____________.

Doulas are not all the same, but a well-trained, professional doula who has the integrity of being certified is going to have the skills to nurture and keep you calm when labor gets difficult, and all the times before that too.  

Be picky about who you choose, and remember...  Experience (in years and number of families served) is valuable and it's is worth paying for.

May your birth be blessed with peace and rest.

Anne Croudace

What is a Labor Doula?

Labor Doulas

A Certified Labor Doula is an assistant or coach, who provides various forms of non-medical support (physical, informational and emotional) during pregnancy and in the childbirth process.  She may attend a home birth or might support the mother and her partner during labor at home and continue while in transport and then remain with the mother until settled after the birth at a hospital or a birth center.  Tranquil Seasons only hires Certified Doulas.  We always require doulas, previously certified or not, to go through our training, because the standard of the organization we use for labor doula certification is head and shoulders above any of the others we have seen out there.

During delivery, doulas are in constant, close proximity to the mother at all times. They can provide comfort with pain relief techniques, such as breathing, relaxing, massage and laboring positions. Doulas also encourage participation from the partner and offer reassurance.  A doula acts as an advocate for the mother, encouraging her in her desires for her birth.  Tranquil Seasons are also trained in-depth on maternal fetal positioning.  This is a specialized skill that helps promote the swifter, easier and more comfortable dilation of the cervix and more efficient descent of the baby.

The goal of a doula is to adapt to and support the mother’s philosophy and help her to have a positive and safe birth experience, whether the mother wants an un-medicated birth or is having a planned cesarean birth. 

The doula is the ONLY one outside of family, who is hired by and there specifically for the mother, and has no conflicts of interest such as employment by the physician/midwife/hospital or any other reason for bias.

After the birth, Tranquil Seasons Doulas will spend as much time as needed helping mothers begin the breastfeeding process and encouraging bonding between the new baby and family members.  Our jobs are not done just because the baby has arrived!  :)

Hiring a Certified Labor Doula will decrease your chances of cesarean. Tranquil Seasons owner Anne Croudace, has cared for over 270 families.  Out of all the births she has attended, only 3 ended in an unplanned (though very necessary) cesareans. That's a pretty encouraging statistic. While she cannot make you any guarantees, you have more than a good chance of avoiding a surgical birth when you've got Anne or one of the doulas she has trained, by your side.

Call for more info:
210-548-8800
or visit our website:
http://www.tranquilseasons.com

Sample Birth Plan

Look into your options...
Here is a sample, offered by one of our clients to give other moms a good starting point.

Feel free to use wording from it, or even copy and paste.  If you have questions about any of the preferences listed, please let me know and I will be glad to explain the family's intent as well as further resources regarding each item.

Remember, your birth plan should be 1 page long and include a categorized list of your wishes and preferences in each stage of your childbirth experience.

 

Birth Plan

Labor:

·         I would like my husband, Jason, and doula, Anne, to stay with me at all times.

·         I request that pain medication NOT be offered to me; if I decide to use pain medications, I will request them.

·         In the event of labor augmentation, I would like to try alternate methods prior to use of Pitocin.

·         I prefer no IV fluids unless I am dehydrated such that juices, electrolyte water, and other drinks do not properly hydrate me.

Pushing:

·         I request the freedom to choose various pushing and delivery positions; to include squatting, hands & knees, or whatever may feel right at the time.

·         I ask that no episiotomy be performed; I would like warm compresses and perineal massage prior to delivery.

·         When it is time to push, I’d like to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits as long as my baby and I are doing fine.

 

Immediately Postpartum:

·         I request that the umbilical cord not be clamped, or even touched until it is white and limp. I request to be allowed to naturally deliver the placenta; I request to have the placenta stored safely and unaltered so that we may take the placenta home for encapsulation.

·         I request that the immediate care of my baby be done on my abdomen or chest with skin-to-skin contact for as long as possible.

·         I plan to exclusively breastfeed and request that no supplements or pacifiers be given. If my baby needs to be fed by bottle or other means, I would like to pump my breasts and provide breast milk throughout the hospital stay.

Newborn:

·         I ask that all newborn care be done in my room.

·         If my baby requires special nursery care, I request access to him at any time.

Special Circumstances:

·         If the above ideals must be altered for medical necessity, I ask that we be given as much time as safely possible to consider all our options before procedures are done.

·         In the event of a cesarean delivery, I would like my partner and doula with me.

·         If cesarean is necessary, I would like contact with my baby as soon as possible and during recovery.

·         In the event of a stillbirth or death of my baby, I would like contact with him as long as desired afterwards.

How to Choose the Best Doula

How Can You Choose the Best Doula?

This can be a stressful, and exciting part of your lives.  Don’t allow yourself to feel rushed or pressured to make a decision about your care, by your OB/Midwife, by friends, family, or the caregivers you interview.  Take time to ask questions, do your research and get to know the doula you will hire to help you birth and care for your newborn(s).

“Postpartum Doulas are higher skilled professionals, and more specifically trained than baby nurses or newborn nannies and every mother deserves one!” 

Your health insurance will not pay for a baby nurse or nanny, but they will help pay for a certified postpartum doula.  How do you find one your insurance company trusts?

What do parents need to know when it comes to hiring a Doula?

1.       What makes a good doula?

a.       She’s certified by a reputable organization.  She should also be trained in breastfeeding support as well as has the right philosophy to match your family.  So ask her what her views on things like “breastfeeding”, “vaccinations”, “cry it out” and “sleep training” are, among other hot topics.  A good doula will not have an agenda to push, but will be willing and able to support all parenting styles.  She will have a lot of experience, honest credentials as a doula, and she’ll be an active part of the local birth community.

b.      When you first interview potential doulas, it should be abundantly clear who has the most knowledge and experience  and who will be able to support your parenting style best.  Ask a lot of questions.  Don’t be afraid to take plenty of time getting to know her.  This is an important decision and even if you’re hiring her after the baby is born, you should not rush the process. 

c.       Finally, a good Doula will know how to navigate the insurance world for you.  She’ll work with you to get reimbursed as much as you possibly can for her services, from your insurance providers.  If she’s not able to bill insurance, look for another Doula.  Insurance billing knowledge and experience is another indicator of professionalism, credibility and overall superior care. 

A professional doula has a proven track record of insurance cooperation and reimbursement.  Ask all potential doulas if they will provide you with the forms and codes for insurance claims.  If they cannot, you need to keep looking.  Claims reimbursable doulas have proven to the insurance companies that their care is worth paying for.  You will be asked to pay up front, but part of your intake process with a professional doula should include a discussion about insurance, and they will ask for the details on, or a copy of your card for billing purposes.

 

2.       What are the MUSTS when interviewing a doula?

a.       Run a background check, or hire a doula through an agency that will provide one to you as part of their services, and it should be free of cost.

b.      Make sure she’s certified.  Contact the organization she’s earned her credentials with and verify her status is current and in good standing.  Many doulas claim to be “trained” but they never completed the work to be certified.  “Trained” and “Certified” are very different things when you consider the integrity of the doula and her practice.

c.       She should have current, honest credentials as a certified doula and she should also be certified in Adult and Infant CPR as well as First Aid.  Ask to see those certifications as well as any others she holds.

d.      Find out who she is accountable to.  Don’t be afraid to ask her, “If I have a grievance over your services, who would I contact about that?”  Independent doulas can be wonderful, but there are doulas out there who answer to no one and this can be a real problem for families who encounter issues later.

e.      Contact all her references and ask the tough questions like was she ever late, how did she invoice you, did you trust her, did she always follow through with things, where there ever any red flags while she was caring for you or your baby?

f.        Ask to see a list of care duties and also the contract, BEFORE the interview.  You should never feel pressured to sign the contract until you’ve had time to read it over and discuss with your partner.

REMEMBER, getting a word of mouth referral is great, but it’s not a failsafe way to hire a doula.  Make sure she is trustworthy by doing the above things before you bring her into your home to care for your family.

Written by: Anne Croudace, CPD, CPDT, CLD, CLDT, CBE, CLSE, CNPE, CPR

How to reach Anne Croudace:

Tranquil Seasons Doulas in San Antonio, TX

www.TranquilSeasons.com   or 210-548-8800

 

Anne is also the founder of the ethics-based “San Antonio Birth Collective”, which seeks to serve parents through education and practical support.  Take a look:  www.sabirthcollective.com

Simple Summary of Our Care

So, you've probably read a lot about doulas by now...
Not all doulas are the same.  Tranquil Seasons Doulas have specific, ongoing training in several modalities.

What is a good, simple summary of our care?

During Childbirth…

During labor and delivery, we support you at all times with emotional, informational and physical care.  We provide you with education and resources before and during your childbirth experience to help you stay comfortable and to relieve anxiety.  We provide non-pharmacological pain relief including massage, and maternal/fetal positioning to help keep you relaxed and to allow the baby to descend quickly, easily, safely.  We never take the place of your partner.  In fact we encourage participation and offer reassurance and guidance so that this experience is positive for both parents!

After Childbirth…

After birth, Postpartum Doulas help with breastfeeding, infant care, and understanding newborn feeding and sleep habits.  The calm, loving, gentle presence of a doula alleviates stress and helps mothers recover from birth

 in a positive, healthy way.  This assists in preventing or recovering from Postpartum Depression and Anxiety as well as Post-Traumatic Stress - which some mothers and babies experience after a difficult birth.

To speak with Doulas in San Antonio:
www.TranquilSeasons.com
210-548-8800

Birth CommUNITY - Can we all just get along?! :)

Over the years, I've taught many different aspects of birth work.  I've taught maternity care ethics, doula certification workshops, midwifery prep courses, parenting classes, gentle infant "sleep training", childbirth preparation and lactation education, support group facilitation, small business marketing and even helped form a few birthy co-ops along the way... 

There's a lot to be said about the birth communities I've become acquainted with.  The variety is astounding.

Some are catty and awful - like a corporate scene where everyone steps on the others in order to get to what they imagine is the "top" of the pile.  Others are peaceful, encouraging, cooperative and truly sisterly.  What is interesting is that all groups want to see birth practices change.  They want to see improved outcomes.  They all would stand up for women's rights.  So how can they be so different in this thing we call a COMMUNITY...?

I think the main answer is where did they come from, and what's the undertone of the "oldies" in their area?  Let me explain.  If they are moms who come from a high-level corporate background, they are more likely to treat this new career with the same growth and glass ceiling mentality as their previous corporate America jobs.  So back-biting and one-up-manship is the norm.  Likewise, if the women who have been around a long time, doing birth-work in your city have a superiority complex or a corporation complex, you will see the younger, newer women taking on that same mentality.

Isn't it interesting that as women-servants - whether midwives, doulas, childbirth educators etc. - we are meant to be modeling love, acceptance, nonjudgmental attitudes, and most of all, self-sacrificing promotion of the best in others.  We "oldies" who have been around a while should really be the best models of this since we have had more time to practice.  :-)

So, how do we do it?  Practically speaking, what does this kind of care model and commUNITY model look like?

First of all.....
1. Stop the gossip.  Don't do it and don't listen to it, or you'll be tempted to share it.  This is the number one problem, tearing apart birth communities today.  People can smell a gossip a mile away.  You're only spreading a stinky reputation about yourself.

2. If a client tells you something about a previous caregiver, GO to that person, and encourage your client to be honest with them as well, if appropriate.  Don't text the other provider or email them, for heaven's sake.  Set a time to sit down over lunch or coffee and tell them directly, what the client's concern was.  How can we grow if we don't know where we failed?  When you speak directly about an issue to another provider, it shows that you are committed to not gossiping and that develops trust.  If you don't have the nerve to talk to them, you certainly should have the scruples to keep it to yourself.

3. Have a humble heart.  Serving requires humility.  Be willing to look at faults and mistakes and change.  The last and least helpful thing you can be is defensive.  It makes you look bad, too.

4. A BIG one - Stay out of other people's drama.  Even your clients' - if you can help it.  Don't expend your energy on anything that is not uplifting you, your family and others close to you.  You don't want to be labeled a busy-body or a drama queen. (this also applies to sharing your drama with others who aren't in your tightest circle of family/friends - just don't do it!)

5. Commit to getting to know your fellow birth workers.  Join or start a local birth collective group where the community can be built up.  Working together helps immensely!  Plan events, educational opportunities, and ways to promote each other as well as healthy birth.

6. Don't segregate.  Midwives need to get to know doulas, doulas need to get to know childbirth educators, etc, etc.  The birthing community is smaller than you think.  You all need to know each other, learn about each others' strengths and offerings so you have resources to provide your clients and yourself as you seek to improve birth practices in your area.

There are lots more tips I could give, but the main thing to consider is how you view your fellow birth workers.  Think long and hard about this.  Is there someone specific in the community that you don't get along with?  Don't fall off your chair now... You should bless her.  Send her a card.  Take her out for lunch.  Invite her to an event you're going to.

It's possible.  We are obligated to be models of love and acceptance.  We should help create and then celebrate each others' successes and when we do, the birth community as a whole will be lifted up.

Looking forward to more UNITY in birth.
Anne

Doulas - San Antonio
http://www.sabirthcollective.com

Historical Doula

Couldn't have said it better myself:

"Having someone by your side during the marathon we call childbirth is not only helpful, but it's historical.
What do we mean by that?

 

Well, for as far back as there are birth stories to be told, you will hear about women attended by other women, supported, encouraged, and often times physically held by the strong arms of this wise, nurturing companion.

Doulas are nothing new, but they have found a name for themselves in the Greek. To be simple, it means servant. With a humble heart, these precious women patiently wait with the mother while actively assisting her to labor more quickly, easily, and safely. Doulas provide information, reassurance, positioning and pain relief without the use of drugs."
Thanks, MaternityWise International, for that!!

To get more familiar with doulas, please read my other blog posts.
If you feel an urge to become a doula yourself, feel free to send me an email and ask some questions about the process.
You can also find more here:
http://www.maternitywise.com

 

Who is Anne Doula - Part 2

Part 2:
Finally, Anne Doula is a woman who is on a mission to challenge the ideas about what doulas are... When you walk down the street and see a pregnant woman, do you automatically offer her a drink of water? How about when you're in a store and you hear a newborn crying and the mother looks haggard. Do you have to refrain yourself from going over, picking up the baby and saying, here, I'll help you get through the last items on your list....?

A doula is a servant. We wake up thinking about how to take care of people and we go to bed exhausted every night, with a smile on our face knowing we gave every last drop of ourselves to those around us. We are love in action. We nurture. We help, we feed, we carry, we DO love.

If you're thinking about becoming a doula, consider an organization that we feel is the very top notch education and certification program: MaternityWise International http://www.maternitywise.com
They have a standardized curriculum, so your training will be as comprehensive as everyone else's. it's a stepping stone / midwifery prep program. The pricing is reasonable and the staff is flexible and friendly. The organization is owned by it's members and therefore you will not have anyone micromanaging your personal doula company, telling you what you can and can't say and do. They also teach how to start and build your birth business. From real life, successful doulas. There just simply isn't an organization like this out there.

Are you feeling led to become a doula? My aunt once told me that it was my "calling" to assist pregnant and birthing women. I wondered what that meant. Now I'm living it.

I have this cute little book that my kindegarten teacher Mrs. Baumgartner made waaaaay back when... It was a self-portrait on each page of all her students, and on a page in the back, she listed all our names and what we wanted to be when we grew up. Many children put president, or firefighter, or doctor or astronaut. After my name was 3!! ha ha She listed that I wanted to be a "Mommy, a teacher and a nurse."

As a doula, in a sense, I am kind of playing all 3 roles. Doulas mother the mother, and teach her how to love her baby and care for herself. She also has a knowledge of medical, anatomical and physiological processes involving the pregnant, birthing and postpartum mother as well as fetal and newborn internal mechanics.

It's so important, for the families we serve, to get a well-rounded education and complete a credentialing process from an internationally certifying body. You can help set the standard. You can be one of those special women who assit mothers to get the care they need, even when they cannot afford it. You can be the change in the birthing world. One of the ways you can do that, is to be pro-active in education.

We need more top-level skilled doulas in the world, to keep making a difference!!! So what's stopping you from getting certified? Start your program today! You are worth it, and the families you will serve in the future will be so grateful you took this step.

-Anne

Who is Anne Doula? (Part 1)

Client:  "Hey Grandma, come meet Anne.  She's my doula!"

Client's Grandmother:  "Hello Anne Doula.  That is a curious last name.  Is it French?"

hahahahaha
and so I became Anne Doula.

Doula is actually a Greek word.  It's used in the Bible when describing Jesus, as He washed his disciples' feet.  He took on the form of a "Doulos" or male servant.

Doula generally referred to the woman servant, who helped the mother of the household with pregnancy, birth and childrearing in the early years.  She was a hand-maiden, a personal assistant, a second mama, a close friend, confidant, and often she was also a wet-nurse.

These days, there are women who call themselves doulas, yet have no training, or even any idea that doula = servant.  They hear the term, want to attend births cause it sounds exciting, and then off they go, calling themselves a doula...  hmmmmm.....  not cool.

Why is it not cool?  Well, for several very good, very important reasons: 

1. Mothers hear about doulas in the media, or from books about pregnancy, and they kind of have an expectation of what sort of value and skill-set a doula will bring to their experience.  If all doulas are on different levels as far as education and philosophy, how can mothers know who to choose, what is a reasonable amount to pay, what to expect, etc.?
2. Birth isn't always easy, fast, or safe.  Don't get me wrong, I birthed my last 2 of 5 babies at home, and one arrived before the midwife, so I'm probably what you'd call a "Birth-Truster" and I believe that birth is normally safe, and that interference and intervention is normally risky.  However, we do know how bad information can lead to bad choices which can lead to bad outcomes.  This is a HUGE reason why doulas - who give advice and help mothers to educate themselves - need to know their role, when to refer moms to a specific professional, and what is a silly trend and what is serious medicine.  Untrained, uncertified women who call themselves doulas are not qualified, and often do not know or understand the bounds of what their role entails as a complementary care provider.  Because of this, you often find they lack the information parents really need, and sadly, they also lack the ethical standards as well.
3. Unfortunately, women who feel they don't need training, or are above attaining a certification, are many times, the same women who have their own birth trauma or other serious personal issues to deal with.  I was just speaking to a dad yesterday, who said he had interviewed half a dozen doulas in our city, and each one revealed through their philosophy, personal stories, or unsolicited advice their own resentment toward a doctor or nurse during their own experiences.
4. Women who claim to be "trained" but cannot provide you with their credentials are basically women who are shortcutting the system.  They took a workshop, but they didn't have the integrity to complete the rest of their training.  In my opinion, they should not be calling themselves "trained" simply because they did not complete the entire "training process".  Parents are getting savvy to this however, and more and more families are turning down doulas who don't have those coveted letters after their name or a certification award to prove they completed a course to become a true doula.
5. When a woman cannot afford doula care, there are a few states where it is mandated for insurance companies to reimburse a portion of their care expenses.  Why would insurance companies want to reimburse for care that has no value to them?  Saving them money is how doulas look good to the insurance company.  How would having a doula save them money?  By lowering the cesarean risk, for starters.  So it's important that certified doulas continue to seek out insurance reimbursement.  That, and the fact that mothers who want doula care, but cannot afford it will be more likely to receive that care including better outcomes for themselves and their babies, if insurance companies were on board with paying a portion of that expense.  Some states like Minnesota and Pennsylvania already do.
6. The last and perhaps most upsetting reason (to me) of why it's not cool that women take on the title "Doula" without completing a certification process is that is blows the stats of good doulas out of whack.  For example, the Cochrane report from the 1990's showed that having a doula by your side reduced the rate of cesarean by almost half.  In the late 2000's, after being a doula became trendy, that rate in another Cochrane review showed that the stat was now hovering around 25%  Why?  Because women who are not properly trained are out there practicing and mothers are not getting the benefit of having a skilled woman by their side.  Those numbers, by the way, tell me that having an uncertified doula means your rates of cesarean is no different that those of the general public without a doula.

Part 2 coming soon............

Becoming a Doula-Minded Birth Advocate

Many years ago, I was holding hands of friends in labor, and walking the halls with newborns so mothers could sleep.  I was changing diapers of babies with RSV and cuddling moms who cried over their birth stories. 

I gave birth to my first baby at age 17.  I didn't know anything.  I never had any idea that someone might think I wouldn't succeed at delivering vaginally.  I didn't know the cesarean statistic or that women still gave birth at home.  No one ever bothered to tell me that my breasts would fill with milk, whether or not I chose to breastfeed.  I didn't wonder how I would ever push a baby out or if I could manage the discomforts of labor.  Nor did I think about whether I wanted drugs or not for pain.  I honestly did not have a clue they were even an option.  I just figured you had a baby and that was that.  There was so much I was ignorant of.

There was so much I didn't know, that I had no time or inclination or reason to question the natural processes my body went through.  I didn't question my weight gain.  Never thought about how much amniotic fluid I had or if I might catch the flu.  I went on my way, carrying my baby and eating, eating, eating, dancing and walking and enjoying every kick and flutter.  Can you imagine a pregnancy like that nowadays?  That was only 1992/1993.  Not really that long ago.  Over the last 20 years, what has happened in our society, in our medical care system, in our circles of friends and family that has turned the perception of birth into such a frantic, frightening, and frustrating scenario?

Ask yourself these questions: 

• When I've heard about birth, what was a main theme in each story? 
• Did I feel fear upon hearing the story? 
• What has shaped my ideas about birth?  Mother? Aunts? Sisters? the Media?
• When I've spoke of birth, what has been the tone and intention of my story? 
• Have I told a Hollywood version of my experience, looking for the oohs and awws or have I told the boring details right along side the exciting ones? 
• Have I been truly, completely honest when talking about my birth with people?

Consider your answers and consider also what part you've played in influencing the women and girls around you and their perception of birth.  Perhaps you've built healthy ideals, or perhaps you are now recognizing that you can do better.

I'm interested to hear how you might make some changes in your own birth-speak, or how you feel we can better affirm our societies' positive ideas on birth.

-Anne